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Random Funny Sayings

Choosing an expression and saying is hard a business. If you are looking for a fantastic saying.



It's not very difficult ― we can either go the funny way or the simple and cute way when coming up with Random Funny Sayings. Unleash the power of creativity with our team and group name generator! Finding the right name can be a daunting task, but fear not – our website is here to streamline the process and provide you with endless possibilities. Let's embark on this naming journey and discover a name that captures the your team and group.

  • I used to think that you were a pain in the neck. My opinion of you has dropped significantly lower since then.
  • I am swift as a gazelle. An old one. With arthritis. Run over by a Land Rover. 8 days ago.
  • How many times must I flush before you finally go away?
  • Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
  • I laughed, I cried It turns out I'm bipolar.
  • If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, you have a STALKER!
  • People who live life to the fullest live the longest. Your results may vary.
  • Dental-Chair Revelation: Once you have your mouth open, dentists lose the ability to ask questions with a simple yes or no answer.
  • What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine. Luckily, you have better stuff then me.
  • Change is good Ya hear that hippies?! Change your freakin clothes! (Damn hippies.)
  • I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
  • There's a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow. And there's a convict at the end of every trailer park.
  • There's a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow That's also where all the gays are
  • Tatoos are forever. Remember, forever is a long long long long long long long long long........time.
  • According to my mirror I am pregnant. The father is Nutella.
  • The pen is mightier than the sword. This does not apply in mortal combat.
  • I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
  • I had loads to do today. Ah well, so now I have loads to do tomorrow.
  • Another day another dollar. Wow your job must suck.
  • Silence is golden. And ductape is silver.
  • Don't throw rocks in glass houses. Why do have a glass house in the first place?! Are you stupid?!!
  • I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven’t offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
  • Winners never cheat. What world do live in?
  • If life gives you lemons Make grape juice. Then, sit back and watch as the world tries to figure out how you did it.
  • People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
  • Friendship is the greatest treasure of all. Unless you have a magic pony.
  • I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.
  • Just keep smiling. Someone will take the picture eventually...
  • You are what you eat. Ah! Canables!!!
  • I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.
  • Oh give me a break! Sure, where?
  • It's raining cats and dogs! Look! Now it's raining bombs too!
  • Who let the cat out of the bag? Obviously the one who knew it needed air.
  • I get enough exercise pushing my luck.
  • The enemy of my enemy is my friend. The enemy of my enemy's enemy is my third cousin twice removed on my father's side.
  • Love makes us do crazy things Stalkers are proof of this
  • Death is not the end. It's actually North Korea (inside joke)
  • Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
  • After millions of years of evolution, you’re kind of a disappointment.
  • Cat got your tongue? That's disgusting! What were you doing?! French kissing it?!!
  • I am an example to others. A bad example.
  • Listen to your heart. It will lead you to the happy snacks.
  • I read married couples have sex about 74 times per year. It’s the end of November now. Seems I’m going to have a seriously exciting December!
  • Knowledge is power. Ignorance is bliss. Well, which is it?!
  • Change is inevitable, except from a parking meter.
  • Ya know what you do when you're feelin' down? Make someone else feel bad and then laugh at their pain
  • A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
  • A promise is a promise. And a lie is a lie.
  • I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
  • Be positive! Ok. Congratulations sir! You have aids!
  • There's no place like home. And there's no place like jail either.
  • Chocolate doesn’t ask any questions. Chocolate simply understands.
  • Confessions may be great for your soul, but they are hell for your reputation.
  • I like to be an optimist. It pisses people off.
  • Technology is our friends Yes, and that's why we have machine guns
  • Try not to forget! Don't worry! (I'll just try not to remember.)
  • Have brotherly love towards your fellow man Gay party! Gay party!
  • I speak fluent ironic with a solid sarcastic accent.
  • Here, have a tissue. There’s still a bit of bullshit left on your mouth.
  • Snakes are more afraid of us then we are of them. Yeah, I don't see a snake wetting its pants, do you?
  • If you fall off the horse Fake whiplash and sue the owner for everything he's got.
  • You should do what you love. Unless it's sadistic and a danger to humanity.
  • I refuse to have a battle of wits with an opponent so clearly unarmed.
  • Nothing is as bad as it seems. Yes. It's much much worse.
  • Your eyes are the window to your soul. Your nose is the window to your brain.
  • Bald is beautiful. Just keep telling yourself that...
  • Beggars can't be choosers. And japanese rock stars can't be ninja assassins. (inside joke)
  • Don't judge a book by it's cover. Don't judge a rock by its radiation.
  • We came, we saw Now go home.
  • Tomorrow is another day. January 5, 1783 is another day too. So what's your point.
  • I wouldn’t exactly say I’m lazy, but it’s a good thing that breathing is a reflex.
  • Children in the backseat cause accidents, accidents in the backseat cause children!
  • You're as stubborn as a mule. You're as ugly as one too.
  • Mom knows best Unless she's on crack.
  • Actions speak louder than words. And that's why nobody reads anymore.
  • If you love something, set it free. If you hate it, cage it and make it your slave.
  • Nothing in life is free And that's why we have prostitutes
  • The best things in life are free After that revelation, prostitutes became illegal
  • I know you are but what am I? Stupid.
  • Curiosity killed the cat. It also killed the dog but I've been ordered by the government to keep that information confidential. (oops)
  • Hold onto your socks! Hold onto your shoes too. They'll be the first to go.
  • Words have power. Unless you're deaf.
  • Two heads are better than one. Unless they're on the same body.
  • Alcohol! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.
  • Just keep on dancin'! Cause this thriller, thriller night!
  • Hearing voices in your head is normal. Listening to them is quite common. Arguing with them – acceptable. It is only when you lose that argument that you get in real trouble.
  • A true optimist is the guy who falls off a skyscraper and after 50 floors thinks to himself – well, so far so good!
  • He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.
  • True friends have your back Seriously?! No freakin' way! For realz?!
  • Destruction breeds creation I'm sure that's EXACTLY what Hitler was thinking too!
  • If looks could kill We would have all died by now
  • I didn’t fall down. I did attack the floor, though.
  • An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Eventually you're going to run out of body parts.
  • Dear math exercise book, kindly grow up finally and solve your own problems!
  • Come over to the dark side…we’ve got candy.
  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A doctor a day keeps everyone away.'Cause you're a CANABLE!
  • It's what's on the inside that counts. Like your blood and you organs and your bones and...
  • Everyone has a guardian angel. If you are dying in a hospital, don't worry. Your angel is just on break.
  • Two wrongs don't make a right. THREE wrongs make a right.
  • Blood is thicker than water. That may be true but that doesn't help you stranded in the desert 'cause you can't drink blood. Well you can but......Ew.
  • Savor the moment. Unless the moment sucks in which case block it out.
  • Real friends don't stab you in the back. REAL friends strangle you. (It's much less painful.)
  • If the shoe fits, wear it. If it doesn't, well you're stuck with it now.
  • Free Willy! Free Jeff too!
  • I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
  • I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.
  • Sticks and stones may break my bones... Well you're pretty much screwed from there.
  • What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. If you try it again, I garentee you'll die.
  • Make love not war In truth, that's a very inappropriate statement
  • If a man said he’ll fix it, he’ll fix it. There is no need to nag him every 6 months about it.
  • If you build it, they will come. If you destroy it, they will HATE you.
  • Love conquers all. This does not apply in rock paper scissors.
  • Everyone has a purpose Except you
  • I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. I am perfect.
  • I am in touch with my motivation. I saw it going by this morning, waving at me and winking.
  • All my life I thought air was for free. That was until I bought a bag of potato chips.
  • Some people are destined for greatness. Others are destined to be the little people that the people destined for greatness step on.
  • A little goes a long way. Especially if it's disease.
  • It's not worth crying over spilled milk. Unless you paid $500 for it.