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Fantasy Football Jokes
- Why didn't the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!
- What do you call a New York Giants fan with half a brain? Gifted!
- Why did the football coach go to the bank? He wanted his Quarterback
- How do you keep the Detroit Lions out of your front yard? Put up goal posts.
- A horse walks into a bar. The bar tender says "Hey." The horse says "Sure."
- Why did the tiny ghost join the football team? He heard they needed a little team spirit.
- What do you get if you see a New York Jets fan buried up to his neck in sand? Get more sand!
- Why did the Philadelphia Eagles players almost miss their flight to Minneapolis for the Super Bowl? They were stuck on a broken escalator!
- It's weird they report fantasy football during Sports Center. That's like the local news telling us how your SimCity is doing.
- You're trapped in a room with an angry grizzly bear, a hungry lion, and a fan of the Dallas Cowboys. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? Shoot the Cowboys fan twice.
- Three Kansas City Chiefs fans were drowning their sorrows at a sports bar after the team lost yet again. The first fan said, "I blame the coach. If he developed better plays, we'd be a great team." The second fan nodded and replied, "I blame the players. They just don't try hard enough." The third fan thought for a moment and then said, "I blame my mom and dad. If I've been born Boston, I'd be supporting a better team!"
- What do you call 20 Vikings’ fans in the basement? A Whine Cellar.
- The only people left on Donald Trump's fantasy football team are Tom Brady and Ted Nugent.
- Looks like the Seattle Seahawks have a bumper crop of new recruits. Do you know what each new player get on his Wonderlic test? Drool!
- What kind of tea do football players drink? Penaltea!
- Two Tennessee Titans fans are sitting in the stadium, an empty seat between them. The first fan, noticing the empty seat, turns to the second fan and asks, "Who on earth would want to miss a Titans game?" The second fan replies, "That seat belonged to my late husband. We were season-ticket holders." "How sad," the first says. "Can't you give the ticket to another friend or family member?" "Can't," the other Titans fan says. "They're all at the funeral."
- What do you get when you put a dozen fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers in one room? A full set of teeth!
- Why does the University of Tennesse football team wear orange to all their Saturday games? So that they can wear the same outfit to go hunting on Sunday, and to work on Monday.
- Tony Romo drops himself from his own fantasy football team.
- What do the Atlanta Falcons and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
- Why are the Dallas Cowboys like a possum? Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.