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Thanksgiving Puns

Absolutely hillarious Thanksgiving one-liners! Large collection of best Thanksgiving one-line jokes


I need some Thanksgiving puns

  • What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin
  • What do modern day Native Americans call a pilgrim? Pilgrim Reaper
  • What was the turkey looking for at ToysRus? Gobbleheads
  • What does Thanksgiving have in common with Halloween? GOBBLE-INS
  • Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
  • What if the Pilgrims shot a bobcat instead of a turkey? We'd be eating pussy for Thanksgiving!
  • What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
  • When does your brother bring his new girlfriend to dinner? Skanksgiving
  • I don’t care how much you love turkey, we don’t allow that kind of fowl language at the dinner table
  • What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach? Puritan
  • Why do turkeys lay eggs? If they dropped them, they'd break!
  • What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
  • Why did the chewing gum cross the road? It was stuck on the turkey's foot!
  • If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims
  • What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy? Spanksgiving
  • What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving
  • Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet!
  • Harry Potter And The Giblet Of Fire
  • What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called? Turkey feathers
  • When do you serve tofu turkey? Pranksgiving
  • What do you call a pilgrims vocabulary? Pilgrammar
  • What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
  • Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
  • Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? Because he was out standing in his field! What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit? Straw-berries!
  •  Obvi the soundtrack of the evening will be of the (Plymouth Rock genre
  • What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all
  • Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play! Which side of a turkey has the most feathers? The outside!
  • Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed
  • Daughter: Mum, can I have a canary for Christmas?
  • Which cat discovered America? Christofurry Columbus
  • Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
  • Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn't chicken!
  • What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape
  • What key won't open any door? A turkey! Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
  • What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? To be or not to be roasted, that is the question
  • What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, google, google!
  • Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring? Because April showers bring Mayflowers!
  • What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
  • What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner? Your nose!
  • What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving? The letter "g"!
  • What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
  • If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower than what does the teacher come on ? The scholar ships
  • What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi!
  • What do you call the age of a pilgrim? Pilgrimage
  • If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!
  • What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
  • What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock
  • If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
  • Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
  • We buy our bird at the grocery store now — one year we hunted our own, and then had to spring for an exorcist to get rid of the poultrygeist
  • What did baby corn say to mama corn? Where's popcorn?
  • What does Miley Cyrus eat at Thanksgiving? Twerk-ey!
  • Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
  • What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey
  • If your great-grandmother saw you making boxed mashed potatoes, she would turn over in her gravy
  • Why do the pants of pilgrims keep falling down? Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
  • Everybody raise your gobble-lets for a toast
  • What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on top of a barn? An eggroll!
  • What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he's in pain? Pil-grimace
  • Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive ? It had 24 carrots
  • Why is there a turkey on comedy central? He’s obviously there for a roast
  • What always comes at the beginning of parades? The letter "p"!
  • If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from? A poul-tree!
  • Did you hear about the gobbler who bounced around the barnyard? He was a perky turkey! 
  • What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo ? A turkey that can pluck itself!
  •  We know the puns are getting old, but we can’t give them up cold turkey
  • What do you call it when it rains turkeys? Foul weather!
  • Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down? Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat
  • Mum: NO! You'll have turkey like everyone else
  • What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
  • What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turkey!
  • What’s a turkey’s favorite Thanksgiving food? Nothing, they’re already stuffed
  • If a man wants to eat a turkey on Thanksgiving, what does a turkey want? It simply wants to run away
  • What should you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A har-vest! If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their age!
  • If you’re visiting home somewhere cold from California, make sure that your family notices your puritan
  • Where do you find a turkey with no legs? Exactly where you left it!
  • What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
  • What does Dracula call Thanksgiving ? Fangs-giving
  • Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language
  • What's the most musical part of a turkey? The drumstick!