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New Orleans Saints Jokes  

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  • What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead? Have him watch a couple New Orleans Saints games.
  • How many Saints fans does it take to change a light bulb? None they are happy living in Atlanta's shadow!
  • What did the Saints fan say after his team won the Super Bowl? "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"
  • What do the New Orleans Saints and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common? Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
  • Why couldn't the Saints running back get into his house? Someone painted an end zone on his front door.
  • A New Orleans car salesman was fired Monday for wearing an Atlanta Falcons tie... Who knew an Saints fan could even tie a tie.
  • How do you know you are in New Orleans? When you pull up to a red light, you roll up your windows!
  • How do you recognize an Saints player in a department store? He's the one trying to slam the revolving door.
  • Why do the New Orleans Saints want to change their name to the Louisiana Tampons? Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!
  • What do the New Orleans Saints and Billy Graham have in common? They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
  • What is a New Orleans Saints fan's favorite whine? "We can't beat Atlanta."
  • What do the New Orleans Saints and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  • What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? The New Orleans Saints.
  • What is the new Saints official cologne creating a lot of buzz? You wear it and the other guy scores.
  • What should you do if you find three New Orleans Saints football fans buried up to their neck in cement? Get more cement.
  • Why are New Orleans Saints jokes getting dumber and dumber?? Because Saints fans have started to make them up themselves.
  • What do you call a beautiful girl in New Orleans? A tourist.
  • What's the difference between the New Orleans Saints & the Taliban? The Taliban has a running game!
  • How do you casterate an New Orleans Saints fan? Kick his sister in the mouth
  • How do you know the Louisiana State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into New Orleans. For the first offense, they give you two Saints tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
  • After the Saints manhandled the Atlanta Falcons defense how did New Orleans reward them? By making them honorary levees!
  • What happens when Drew Brees has a bad game? The Saints go marching home.
  • What's the difference between the New Orleans Saints and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  • How do you stop an New Orleans Saints fan from beating his wife? Dress her in Carolina Panthers black, white and blue.
  • How many New Orleans Saints does it take to change a tire? One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
  • A. They can't pick up a single yard!
  • How do you keep a Saints fan from masterbating? You paint his dick Atlanta Black and red and he won't beat it for years!
  • What is the difference between a Saints fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after awhile.
  • How are the Saints like my neighbors?
  • Why do ducks fly over the Superdome upside down? There's nothing worth craping on!
  • How did the New Orleans Saints fan die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him!
  • What do the Saints and the mailman have in common? Neither deliver on Sunday night.
  • Did you hear that New Orleans's football team doesn't have a website? They can't string three "Ws" together.
  • Why are so many New Orleans Saints players claiming they have the Swine Flu? So They don't have to touch the pigskin!
  • If you have a car containing a Saints wide receiver, a Saints linebacker, and a Saints defensive back, who is driving the car? The cop.
  • What's the difference between New Orleans Saints fans and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
  • Following the BP Oil Spill how did New Orleans celebrate their Saints? By singing when the Saints come dripping in!
  • What do the Saints and the Post Office have in common? Neither deliver on Sundays!
  • Why doesn't Baton Rouge have a professional football team? Because then New Orleans would want one.
  • Did you hear that a 38-year-old lady has become a Saints cheerleader. She's excited because it won't cut into her time bragging on Facebook about being a Grandma.
  • What has eight arms and an I. of 60? Four Saints fans watching a football game.
  • How do you stop an New Orleans Saints fan from beating his wife? Dress her in Atlanta Black and Red!
  • How do the Saints spend the first week of training camp? Studying the Miranda Rights
  • What's the difference between New Orleans Saints fans and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
  • What do you call a Saints fan with half a brain? Gifted.
  • Why do the New Orleans Saints want to change their name to the New Orleans Tampons? Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!
  • What's the difference between an New Orleans Saints fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
  • What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an New Orleans Saints fan? The bucket.
  • What's the only thing that grows in New Orleans? The Crime Rate!
  • Where do you go in New Orleans in case of a tornado? The Superdome - they never get a touchdown there!
  • What's the difference between the New Orleans Saints and a pinball machine? The pinball machine scores more points.
  • How do you casterate a Saints fan? Kick his sister in the mouth
  • How many New Orleans Saints fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
  • Want to hear a Saints joke? Coby Fleener!
  • Why is Tim Hightower like a grizzly bear? Every fall he goes into hibernation.
  • How do you keep a New Orleans Saint out of your yard? Put up goal posts.
  • How do you keep a Saints fan from masterbating? You paint his dick Panthers black and blue and he won't beat it for 4 years!
  • What does a New Orleans Saints fan and a bottle of beer have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
  • The New Orleans Saints released two players for exposing themselves. The good news is the players got to keep the beads.
  • Why do New Orleans Saints fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces.
  • What do you call a sober Saints fan? A liar.
  • What do you call an New Orleans Saint in the Super Bowl? A referee.