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Cincinnati Bengals Jokes  

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  • Where do you go in Cincinnati in case of a tornado? Paul Brown Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!
  • Why do Cincinnati Bengals fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces.
  • Why is Tyler Eifert like a grizzly bear? Every fall he goes into hibernation.
  • Which shows are now interested in following the Cincinnati Bengals after HBO's Hard Knocks! America's Most Wanted and Cops!
  • What is a Cincinnati Bengals fan's favorite whine? "We can't beat Pittsburgh."
  • What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead? Have him watch a couple Cincinnati Bengals games.
  • Why doesn't Chad Ochocinco need to use condoms? He can't catch anything!
  • How do you stop an Cincinnati Bengals fan from beating his wife? Dress her in Pittsburgh Black and Gold!
  • How do you keep a Cincinnati Bengal out of your yard? Put up goal posts
  • What's the difference between the Cincinnati Bengals and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  • Did you hear that Cincinnati's football team doesn't have a website? They can't string three "Ws" together.
  • What did the Bengals fan say after his team won the Super Bowl? "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"
  • Why doesn't Columbus have a professional football team? Because then Cincinnati would want one.
  • What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? The Cincinnati Bengals.
  • A. The cow fell on him!
  • Want to hear a Bengals joke? Tyler Eifert!
  • How did the Cincinnati Bengals fan die from drinking milk?
  • What was the good/bad ruling about Chad Johnson and his Ochocinco jerseys? The good news is that the NFL has agreed to have the name Ochocinco on the back of his jersey. The bad news is the front of the jersey will still feature the Cincinnati Bengals!
  • What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the NFL playoffs? The Cincinnati Bengals [faucet on... soap... squishy-squishy, wash-wash]
  • How do you casterate a Cincinnati Bengals fan? Kick his sister in the mouth
  • What is the difference between a Bengals fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after awhile.
  • What do the Cincinnati Bengals and opossums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road [hit button... vooooom.... ah! hands nearly dry]
  • Why can't Andy Dalton use the phone anymore? Because he can't find the receiver.
  • Why are so many Cincinnati Bengals players claiming they have the Swine Flu? So They don't have to touch the pigskin!
  • What is th difference between a bucket of shit and a Cincinnati Bengals fan? The bucket.
  • How do the Bengals spend the first week of training camp? Studying the Miranda Rights
  • Did you hear about the joke that Andy Dalton told his receivers? It went over their heads.
  • What do you call an Cincinnati Bengal in the Super Bowl? A referee.
  • How do you keep an Cincinnati Bengals out of your yard? Put up goal posts.
  • Why do ducks fly over Paul Brown stadium upside down?
  • What's the difference between the Cincinnati Bengals & the Taliban? The Taliban has a running game!
  • What does a Cincinnati Bengals fan and a bottle of beer have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
  • Why did Carson Palmer cross the road? To get to the hospital on the other side!
  • What's the difference between the Cincinnati Bengals and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar
  • Where do you go in case of a tornado? The Paul Brown Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!
  • How are the Cincinnati Bengals like my neighbors? They can't pick up a single yard!
  • How do you know the Ohio State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into Cincinnati. For the first offense, they give you two Cincinnati Bengals tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
  • How many Cincinnati Bengals fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
  • What's the difference between Cincinnati Bengals fans and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
  • How can you tell when the Cincinnati Bengals are going to run the football? The back leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes
  • Why shouldn't the Bengals let Chad Johnson be called "Ocho Cinco" Because now Terrell Owens wants to be called "Numero Uno Mistakeo"?
  • How many Cincinnati Bengals does it take to win a Super Bowl? Mike Brown has no idea! -- and we may never know either! [flush... shake, shake]
  • What do the Cincinnati Bengals and Billy Graham have in common? They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
  • A. There's nothing worth craping on!
  • What's the difference between the Cincinnati Bengals and a pinball machine? The pinball machine scores more points.
  • What do the Bengals and the mailman have in common? Neither deliver on Sunday.
  • What do the Cincinnati Bengals and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  • Did you hear about the blonde burglar? He broke into the Cincinnati Bengals' trophy room.
  • What does a Bengals fan say to a robber? I hate the steelers.
  • What do the Bengals and the Post Office have in common? Neither deliver on Sundays!
  • How do you keep a Bengals fan from masterbating? You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for years!
  • How many Cincinnati Bengals does it take to win a Super Bowl? Nobody knows and we may never find out!
  • What do you call an Cincinnati Bengal with a Super Bowl ring? A thief.
  • If you have a car containing a Bengals wide receiver, a Bengals linebacker, and a Bengals defensive back, who is driving the car? The cop.
  • How many Cincinnati Bengals does it take to change a tire? One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
  • Why was Marvin Lewis upset when the Cincinnati Bengals' playbook was stolen? Because he hadn't finished coloring it.
  • Why doesn't Dayton, Ohio have a professional football team? Because then Cincinnati would want one
  • What do the Cincinnati Bengals and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common? Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
  • What's the difference between an Cincinnati Bengals fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
  • How many Bengals fans does it take to change a light bulb? None they are happy living in Pittsburghs shadow!
  • What does an Cincinnati Bengals fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation 3.
  • What's the best part about dating a Bengals fan? She won't be asking for a ring!
  • What do you call a Cincinnati Bengal with a Super Bowl Championship ring? A thief
  • Why do the Cincinnati Bengals want to change their name to the Cincinnati Tampons? Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!
  • Why are Cincinnati Bengals jokes getting dumber and dumber?? Because Bengals fans have started to make them up themselves.
  • What should you do if you find three Cincinnati Bengals football fans buried up to their neck in cement? Get more cement.