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Cute and Funny Status

Everyone loves good Cute and Funny Status


See some super cute and funny status:

  • I’m not popular, but I have good friends.
  • The kid's next door imaginary friend
  • Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
  • Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here
  • I’m pretty sure the best thing about Facebook is the ability to read other people’s fights.
  • God Made Every Person Different. He Got Tired By The Time He Got To China.
  • My Idea Of A Good Morning Is One When I Open My Eyes, Take A Deep Breath, Then Go Back To Sleep.
  • I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
  • I’m not getting older, I’m just becoming a classic..
  • I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
  • I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  • Don't mix bad words with your bad mood. You'll have many opportunities to change a mood, but you'll never get the opportunity to replace the words you spoke.
  • I’ Not Hungry. But I Am Bored. Therefore, I Shall Eat.
  • I put the 'Me' in 'Someone' and things get awkward.
  • There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away
  • Line dancing was originally invented by women waiting in line for the bathroom.
  • A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing
  • God loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole
  • I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
  • Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters..
  • I’M Going To Stand Outside. So If Anyone Asks, I Am Outstanding.
  • Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
  • Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.
  • From this point on; I’m going to treat people exactly how they treat me. Some should be glad. Others should be scared.
  • Chocolates Comes From Cocoa, Which Is Tree. That Makes It A Plant….So Chocolate Is A Salad.
  • Facebook is like a diary for me. An awesome funny diary that sometimes, annoyingly, talks back.
  • A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it
  • So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness
  • Three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere: ‘Hold my purse.
  • That moment when you try talking to someone you're hot for and you say GFBLQRINABAH instead of "I'm good thanks!"
  • Knowledge is power, and power corrupts
  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
  • Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower
  • You do not need a parachute to skydive
  • If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining
  • When in doubt, mumble
  • I like work
  • If People Are Talking About You Behind Your Back, Then Just Fart.
  • If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich
  • This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
  • Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
  • Why did Noah save those two mosquitos?
  • I Hate When I Plan Conversation In My Head & Other Person Doesn’T Follow The Damn Script.
  • Google Maps really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  • If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
  • As Usual, There Is A Great Woman Behind Every Idiot.
  • We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
  • Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
  • Politicians and diapers have one thing in common
  • I think it's really cool how the word "OK" is a sideways person!
  • Don’t Make Me Laugh. I’M Trying To Be Mad At You.
  • 1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don’t admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening.
  • Virginity is like a soap bubble, one prick and it is gone
  • My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch
  • When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water
  • The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
  • If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea
  • In exams, we look up for inspiration, down for desperation, left and right for information.
  • That moment when someone you met for 3 seconds sends you a Facebook friend request.
  • I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me
  • You didn't notice that that I used a word twice in this sentence.
  • Dogs have masters, cat have staff
  • I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila
  • War does not determine who is right - only who is left
  • Q Quite Man Is A Thinking Man. A Quite Woman Is Usually Mad.
  • I hate it when I'm singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.
  • You look like I need a drink.
  • Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
  • If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
  • Don’t wait for the perfect moment…Take the moment and make it perfect.
  • If money grew on trees, girls would be dating monkeys!
  • The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble
  • Women should not have children after 35. Really… 35 children are enough.
  • You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
  • Insert a coin to view my status message
  • Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
  • For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember.. that’s where the knives are kept.
  • God must love stupid people
  • If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
  • Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy
  • Is On The Toilet (>_
  • I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.
  • The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room
  • I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
  • wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
  • If I opened a camera store called Photo Shop, do you think I’d get sued by Adobe?
  • Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt
  • I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you
  • Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
  • If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments
  • Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
  • Everyone is normal until you add them as your Facebook friend.
  • Facebook account for sale, friends included!
  • “Was that lightning?!” “No, they’re taking pictures for Google earth…”
  • If Each Day Is A Gift, I Would Like To Know Where I Can Return Mondays.
  • I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.
  • I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.