Clips from Happy Gilmore
Happy Gilmore Audio Clips
Happy Gilmore WAVs
Happy Gilmore Sound Bites
Happy: Holy shit! Talk about your all-time backfires!
Happy: Haha...send him home. I just send him home. Time to go home there, ball. (putts) Son of a bitch ball! Why didn't you just go HOME! ARE YOU TOO GOOD FOR YOUR HOME?! ANSWER ME!!
Happy: (Spouts off expletives on TV and the censor beeps constantly)
Shooter: You're in big trouble pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for
Happy: Hey, if I saw myself in clothes like those, I'd have to kick my own ass.
Happy: Hey, ah..a..ah, what are you doin' out here, you wanna get some food?
Happy: Well, I'm outta here! I hear that Asteroids machine calling my name from the gameroom, so Peace!
Happy: Step right up, folks! See if you can outdrive the amazing...golf ball..ah, wacker guy!
Happy: Alright now, if you get that puck in that net over there, I'll ne-ver
bother you again....BUT, if you miss...you gotta give me a big fat kiss. And you have to
pretend that you like it too.
Nursing Home Guy: Check out the nametag. You're in MY world now, grandma!
Happy: That's MY PUCK, baby! Don't you ever touch my puck!
Happy: Uh-oh! Happy learned how to putt!
Happy: The Price is wrong, bitch!
Happy's two junior hockey league records
"...I called your number, didn't I..."
"...All you ever talk about is being a pro hockey player, but, there's a problem..."
Happy thinks he is singing to Teri, his now ex-girlfriend
"...You can't just take her stuff, she's TOO OLD"
Chubbs tells Happy about how he lost his hand
"...Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass..."
"...Are you going to recite me a poem? Easy"
"...More time in the sand than David Hasselhoff"
"It's all in the hips..."
"...I just couldn't get the ball in the hole..."
"...A guy who can drive the ball that far, he could really draw a crowd..."
"Just tap it in..."
"Well, some might call it luck..."
"...Anybody else's fingers hurt? I didn't think so"
"...I thought you like it here..."
"...If you beat him up tonight, I've got to get up in the morning and explain to the papers..."
"...Circluar, circle, with the music, the flow. All good things"
"Ball, why didn't you just go home..."
"...I was too busy winning"
"...Give me one of them big ones, I don't care"
"...How about I go eat some hay..."
"...Oh good, you mean no fun"
"I don't date golfers..."
Whacker.wav (79K) Happy: Step right up folks. See if you can out drive the amazing golf ball uh whacker guy.
AllOver.wav (227K) [Happy singing]
Taparoo.wav (79K) Happy: Just tap it in. Just tap it in. Give it a little tappy tap tap taparoo
SOBball.wav (111K) Happy: Son of a bitch ball. Why didn't you just go home? That's your home. Are you too good for your home? Answer me! Suck my white ass ball!
Shooter: Just stay out of my way or you'll pay, listen to what I say.
KickMyOwnAss.wav (39K) Happy: Hey, if I saw myself in clothes like those I'd have to kick my own ass.
Shooter: Your in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
GameRoom.wav (119K) Happy: Well, I'm outta here! I hear that Asteroids machine calling my name from the gameroom, so Peace!
PriceIsWrong.wav (25K) Happy: The price is wrong, bitch.
FeelTheFlow.wav (327K) Happy: Is it always like this with the TV cameras and the people and stuff?
Backfire.wav (141K) Happy: Holy shit! Talk about your all-time backfires!
My Puck.wav (66K) Happy: That's my puck, baby, DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH MY PUCK!
OneReason.wav (45K) Happy: I was put on this planet for one reason. To play hockey.
GoingNowhere.wav (229K) Happy: Hold on a second babe.
Don'tGo.wav (294K) Happy: Please don't go.
Grandma: Sir, could I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? It helps put me to sleep.
Tough.wav (282K) [scene when Happy gets in the batting cage and takes balls to the head]
Chubbs: Golfs no different than hockey. Requires talent and self discipline.
Shooter thinks Happy is destroying golf
"...I was just testing its durability..."
"...Friends listen to 'Endless Love' in the dark"
"You're going to need a blanket and suntan lotion..."
Spectator: It's about time.
LongDrive.wav (72K) [Happy hitting a big drive]
Beep.wav (132K) [Happy getting beeped out by the censors for cursing]
WorkingIt.wav (51K) Potter: Doing the bull dance. Felling the flow. Working it. Working it.
Happy: Hey what are you doing now? You want to get some food?
BobBarker.wav (26K) Happy: Damn it! I hate that Bob Barker!
JackAss1.wav (29K) Heckler: You suck! Ya Jack Ass!
JackAss2.wav (41K) Heckler: You will not make this putt! Jack Ass!
Heckler: Jack Ass!
Happy: I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good looking. I'm not attractive.