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Mark Twain Quotes

Mark Twain quotes “If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”


Mark Twain; An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. 


The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. 

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 

“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”  

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”  

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”  

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”  

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”  

“To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.”  

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear not absence of fear” 

 

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”  

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”  

“The lack of money is the root of all evil.”  

“A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.”  

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. 

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. 

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. 

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

“Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. 

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. 

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. 


Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. 

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. 

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. 

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded. 

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. 

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. 

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. 

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. 

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. 


A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. 

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. 

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. 

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. 

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. 

In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. 

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.” 

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” 


“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

“In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.”

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”

“Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”

“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”

“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” 

“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.”

“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.” 

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.” 

“Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.”

“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.”

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing you can do is keep your mind young.

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's I mean.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Always obey your parents when they are present.

Always respect your superiors; if you have any.

There is no sadder thing than a young pessimist‚ except an old optimist.

May you always keep your youth.

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

We ought never to do wrong when people are looking.

Be good and you will be lonesome.

Honor is a harder master than law.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Do your duty today and repent tomorrow.

Books are the liberated spirits of men.

If books are not good company, where will I find it?

Clothes do not merely make the man…clothes are the man.

A full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.

To eat is human…to digest‚ divine.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.

Character is the architect of achievements.

The man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.

A full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

Architects cannot teach nature anything.

There is no sadder thing than a young pessimist‚ except an old optimist.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

I was born modest‚ but it didn’t last.

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

All good things arrive unto them that wait and don’t die in the meantime.

Travel is fatal to prejudice.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

An uneasy conscience is a hair in the mouth.

To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.

The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn't indicate or promise, and which the other kind couldn't detect.

In order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain.

Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

Do not put off till tomorrow what can be put off till day-after-tomorrow just as well.

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear.

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Government is merely a servant merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn’t. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.

The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races.

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing the matter with this, except that it ain't so.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so.

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”  

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”  

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

More quotes on Courage

When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.

Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood is what you were intended for.

When in doubt‚ tell the truth.

All kings is mostly rapscallions.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

The man who does not read books has no advantage over the man that can not read them.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.