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Funny Santa Sayings

Everyone loves good Funny Santa Sayings


See some hilarious Santa sayings:

  • If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do is to blame it on Santa Claus.
  • Who's the bane of Santa's life?
  • One of the problems we have in this country is that too many adults believe in Santa Claus, and too many children don't.
  • You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.
  • 'I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.'
  • I hear how kids wise up to the Santa Claus routine but pretend otherwise because the goods seem connected to keeping their parents' fantasies flowing. I've seen the parents trying to pretend for the same reason - not because otherwise the gifts stop, but to maintain the innocence a little longer - even when both sides know the other side knows.
  • A cynic is just a man who found out when he was about ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's still upset.
  • The myth of Santa has grown to gigantic proportions. He is able to know all, to judge each and every child, to make reindeer fly and do all these things at the North Pole! Obviously Santa has slowly taken the place of God, doing things which only God can do. Unfortunately, this "god" is a legalistic "god", dispensing gifts only upon those who deserve them.
  • Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?
  • You better watch out You better not cry Better not pout I'm telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town.
  • You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.
  • Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
  • When I found out that Santa Claus wasn't real, I wasn't upset; rather, I was relieved that there was a much simpler phenomenon to explain how so many children all over the world got presents on the same night! The story had been getting pretty complicated - it was getting out of hand.
  • Santa Claus is anyone who loves another and seeks to make them happy; who gives himself by thought or word or deed in every gift that he bestows; who shares his joys with those who are sad; whose hand is never closed against the needy; whose arm is ever outstretched to aid the week; whose sympathy is quick and genuine in time of trouble; who recognizes a comrade and brother in every man he meets upon life's common road; who lives his life throughout the entire year in the Christmas spirit.
  • Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
  • 'I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.'
  • Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
  • Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?
  • 'Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?'
  • All the world is happy when Santa Claus comes.
  • Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
  • In this age of instant coffee, overnight rush deliveries, and 30-second media sound bites, it's not surprising that children have discovered that their letters to Santa Claus can be sent by email.
  • Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
  • You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
  • I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying toys not included.
  • 'Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?'
  • I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
  • I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighbourhood after dark.