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Funny Christmas Tree Quotes

Everyone loves good Funny Christmas Tree Quotes


See some super funny Christmas tree quotes:

  • The Christmas spirit that goes out with the dried-up Christmas tree is just as worthless.
  • The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
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  • I don’t know what I believe. I guess that makes me a Christmas Tree Agnostic.
  • Now I’m an old Christmas tree, the roots of which have died. They just come along and while the little needles fall off me replace them with medallions.
  • Glittering tinsel, lights, glass balls, and candy canes dangle from pine trees.
  • I don’t need a star on my tree, I already have one in heaven shining down on me.
  • I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
  • Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
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  • There’s no experience quite like cutting your own live Christmas tree out of your neighbor’s yard.
  • If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.
  • I don't know what I believe. I guess that makes me a Christmas Tree Agnostic.
  • Don’t measure the height of your Christmas tree. Measure the abundance of the love present in your heart! Have a Blessed Christmas!
  • Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
  • Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls.
  • The Christmas trees are brought from Vermont by monosyllabic men in warm clothes; they seem alien, closer to the earth, silently contemptuous, like gypsies. They bring in their trees and stand them up on the pavements, so that swaths of Broadway are suddenly transformed into dark, pine-scented avenues.
  • Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
  • Hope I see you under my Christmas tree, because you are what I want for Christmas.
  • Now I'm an old Christmas tree, the roots of which have died. They just come along and while the little needles fall off me replace them with medallions.
  • Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
  • The Christmas tree has taken the place of the altar in too much of our modern Christmas observance.
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  • The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!
  • Love is the main aspect of the Christmas tree but not the money or the height.
  • The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty.
  • It still feels weird to spend money on Christmas trees. Back when Mom was alive, we’d go out tree hunting.” That’s what she called it, anyway. I think other people might use the word trespassing.
  • Christmas tree stands are the work of the devil and they want you dead.
  • I don't know what I believe. I guess that makes me a Christmas tree agnostic." He smiles. "I like it and you're a Yom Kippur atheist.
  • Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.
  • The Christmas tree is a symbol of love, not money. There's a kind of glory to them when they're all lit up that exceeds anything all the money in the world could buy.
  • ...freshly cut Christmas trees smelling of stars and snow and pine resin - inhale deeply and fill your soul with wintry night...
  • The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
  • I never thought it was such a bad little tree. it’s not bad at all, really. May be it just needs little LOVE.
  • A pretty woman is a Christmas tree,' my mother told me in the airport. This fella is hanging things on my branches as his gaze sweeps from my face all the way down my body to my hips and then back to my face. Ideas fly from his widened eyes and land on me like teeny, decorative burdens. He is giving me shyness, maybe, some book smarts, and a certain yielding sweetness in bed. The oil-slick eyes get me, and I find myself hanging a few ornaments myself, giving him deft hands and a sense of humor.
  • The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature.
  • Inspirational Christmas quotes Christmas Inspirational quotes
  • Remember, Christmas isn’t about how big the tree is, or what’s under it. It’s about who’s around it.
  • If my Valentine you won’t be, I’ll hang myself on your Christmas tree.
  • Christmas is Christ-love.
  • My Christmas tree’s still up, bringing Christmas cheer 24/7 365 days a year.
  • When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!
  • Thank you, Dear Creator, for Life. Thank you for Dreams. Thank you for Ideas and Thoughts and Feelings. Most of all, thank you for choosing me to grow - just for today - and to know the Wonder of Your World and its many Possibilities.
  • The Christmas tree is a symbol of love, not money. There’s a kind of glory to them when they’re all lit up that exceeds anything all the money in the world could buy.