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Carolina Panthers Jokes  

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  • What does a Carolina Panthers fan and a bottle of beer have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
  • What do you call a Panthers fan with half a brain? Gifted.
  • How did the Carolina Panthers fan die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him!
  • Why are Carolina Panthers jokes getting dumber and dumber?? Because Panthers fans have started to make them up themselves.
  • What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead? Have him watch a couple Carolina Panthers games.
  • How do you stop an Carolina Panthers fan from beating his wife? Dress her in New Orleans Black and Gold!
  • What's the best part about dating a Panthers fan? She won't be asking for a ring!
  • If you have a car containing a Panthers wide receiver, a Panthers linebacker, and a Panthers defensive back, who is driving the car? The cop.
  • How do you casterate an Carolina Panthers fan? Kick his sister in the mouth
  • Oops, I fumbled again......
  • How do you keep a Panthers fan from masterbating? You paint his dick New Orleans Black and Gold and he won't beat it for 4 years!
  • What should you do if you find three Carolina Panthers football fans buried up to their neck in cement? Get more cement.
  • How do you keep an Carolina Panthers out of your yard? Put up goal posts.
  • What do you call a beautiful girl in Carolina? A tourist.
  • Why do the Carolina Panthers want to change their name to the Carolina Tampons? Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!
  • What does marijuana and the Carolina Panthers have in common? They both get smoked in bowls.
  • Why do ducks fly over Bank Of America stadium upside down? There's nothing worth craping on!
  • How many Carolina Panthers does it take to win a Super Bowl? Nobody knows and we may never find out!
  • How did the Carolina Panthers fan die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him!
  • What has eight arms and an I. of 60? Four Panthers fans watching a football game.
  • How do you know the Panthers had a 12-4 record this year? 12 arrests and 4 convictions.
  • What is the difference between a Panthers fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after awhile.
  • What do the Los Angeles Police Department and the Carolina Panthers have in common? Neither one can stop a Bronco.
  • How many Panthers fans does it take to change a light bulb? None they are happy living in New Orleans shadow!
  • How are the Panthers like my neighbors? They can't pick up a single yard!
  • What do the Carolina Panthers and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common? Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
  • Did you hear about the blonde burglar? He broke into the Carolina Panthers' trophy room.
  • Why is Cam Newton like a grizzly bear? Every fall he goes into hibernation.
  • Why do Carolina Panthers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces.
  • What will the Carolina Panthers do if Ray Carruth is acquitted? Change their offense to the Shoot and Run!
  • Why are so many Carolina Panthers players claiming they have the Swine Flu? So They don't have to touch the pigskin!
  • How many Carolina Panthers does it take to change a tire? One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
  • How do you know the North Carolina State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into Charlotte. For the first offense, they give you two Panthers tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
  • What did the Panthers fan say after his team won the Super Bowl? "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"
  • What's the difference between the Carolina Panthers and a pinball machine? The pinball machine scores more points.
  • Did you hear about the joke that Cam Newton told his receivers? It went over their heads.
  • What do the Carolina Panthers and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  • What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? The Carolina Panthers.
  • How many Carolina Panthers does it take to win a Super Bowl? Nobody knows and we may never find out!
  • What happened after Carolina QB Jake Delhomme threw a tantrum after learning the Panthers released him? It was intercepted!
  • What does an Carolina Panthers fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation 3.
  • What's the difference between the Carolina Panthers and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  • What do the Panthers and the mailman have in common? Neither deliver on Sunday night.
  • How do you know the North Carolina State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into Charlotte. For the first offense, they give you two Carolina Panthers tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
  • How do the Panthers spend the first week of training camp? Studying the Miranda Rights
  • What's the difference between Carolina Panthers fans and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
  • Why doesn't Raleigh have a professional football team? Because then Charlotte would want one.
  • Where do you go in Charlotte in case of a tornado? Bank Of America Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!
  • What's the difference between an Carolina Panthers fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
  • What does Cam Newton and a fig newton have in common? They both crumble under pressure.
  • What do you call an Carolina Panthers with a Super Bowl ring? A thief.
  • What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead? Have him watch the Carolina Panthers in a playoff game
  • What would happen if Rae Carruth was to kill 2 more people? Carolina's first NFL Record!
  • Did you hear that Carolina's football team doesn't have a website? They can't string three "Ws" together.
  • What's the difference between the Carolina Panthers & the Taliban? The Taliban has a running game!
  • How do you stop an Carolina Panthers fan from beating his wife? Dress her in New Orleans Black and Gold!.
  • Want to hear a Panthers joke? Ted Ginn Jr!
  • What do the Panthers and the Post Office have in common? Neither deliver on Sundays!
  • What Britney Spears song did Cam Newton listen to before the Super Bowl?
  • What's the difference between Carolina Panthers fans and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
  • How do you keep a Panthers fan from masterbating? You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for years!
  • What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Carolina Panthers fan? The bucket.
  • What is a Carolina Panthers fan's favorite whine? "We can't beat New Orleans."
  • What do you call an Carolina Panther in the Super Bowl? A referee.
  • What's the difference between the Carolina Panthers & the Taliban? The Taliban has a running game!
  • What is the new Panthers official cologne creating a lot of buzz? You wear it and the other guy scores.
  • How many Carolina Panthers fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
  • What do the Carolina Panthers and Billy Graham have in common? They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
  • Why can't Cam Newton use the phone anymore? Because he can't find the receiver.
  • What is a Carolina Panthers fan's favorite whine? "We can't beat the Saints."