Updated: 7/29/03 Click here for Zbonia archive


I have been getting a lot of food lodged in my nose. Last Friday I was eating burgers and some got up my nose cavity and I blew my nose and burgers flew out and yesterday I think some turkey went up there. I think it is because I eat fast. The Summer just blows by. I am not head over heals in love with compilation albums. I want to write a hit song.

Here is a special guest column from the Bitter Bartender:

Here's something that pisses me off. Why the fuck does anyone think its necessary to leave a voicemail recording? Fucking voicemail has been around long enough that you don't have to leave a recording. "Hi, i'm not here right now, please leave me your name, number and a brief message and I'll call you back as soon as possible" Fuck you, I know your not there otherwise you would have fucking answered. What's worse, is the goddamned voicemail lady, "To leave a message press one, to leave your number press two, otherwise just wait for the tone." No shit. Really. I fucking hate having to wait 20 goddamn seconds just to say, "Hey its me, call me back" What the fuck, get rid of all the bullshit and go from ringing to a the beep.

Email Attachment of the Week

Joke of the Week

What two things in the air will get a women pregnant?

Her legs.

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

"David Orr"

I didn't ask you to season my meat.

Paul Fruzyna

I have some salty balls.

From: AZiola@focal.com

i have my own sausage too if anyone would like some of that

"David Orr"

Well I guess we all will bring our own flap jacks for this party!!!


no i was the one that was into the flap jacks

"David Orr"

Not unless there is a hottie stripper jumping out of the cake with
nice flap jacks. Doesn't Roman like flap jacks?


no sounds perfect
we will work out the details in couple weeks
i dont need to buy cake for your girl do i?

"David Orr"

I wouldn't be able to leave until 2pm, but we could still be down
there by 6pm. Does that conflict with plans at all?

Shea Nimocks

Are we just taking 1/2 day? Leave around noon or so?

Paul Fruzyna

Yes, we are coming down Friday. We're taking 1/2 day of vacation on Friday.

From: AZiola@focal.com

paul shea you are coming on friday right?

"David Orr"

Do you know any site that might have video footage of the incident?
What is the deal with the weekend of 07/25. Are Paul and Shea
coming down that Friday, or on Saturday morning? What did you guys have in
mind, as far as what time we should be down there by? July 25th is
my girlfriend Cori's b-day. We are trying to figure out what is going
on, so we can plan accordingly.

Andrew P Ziola

Pirates' Simon booked after hitting one of Brewers' racing sausages July 10, 2003 MILWAUKEE (AP) -- Pittsburgh first baseman Randall Simon was booked for misdemeanor battery for hitting one of the Milwaukee Brewers' popular racing sausages with a bat during Wednesday night's game. Simon was released, said a spokeswoman for the Milwaukee County Sheriff's Department, who asked not to be identified. Simon will meet with the district attorney's office Thursday, and it will be up to prosecutors to determine whether formal charges are filed. In an event that's a fan favorite at Miller Park, four people in sausage costumes race around the bases between the sixth and seventh innings at Milwaukee Brewers games. Film of Wednesday night's race showed that when the group went past the Pirates' third-base dugout, Simon took a two-handed chop at the Italian sausage character -- portrayed by a 20-year-old South Milwaukee woman -- hitting her from behind and causing her to tumble to the ground. As she fell, a nearby sausage -- the hot dog -- went down as well. Simon was on the top step of the dugout and reached over the railing to make contact. ``They were doing the sausage race. He hit her with the baseball bat,'' said Deputy Inspector Sherry Warichak of the Milwaukee County Sheriff's Department, which provides security at Brewers games. ``When he hit her, that other character fell.'' ``They both were treated at the scene for scraped knees, but at this point I don't think they have any other complaints,'' she said. She declined to release the names of the women. Warichak said the two women, along with Simon, were interviewed ataar Are we just taking 1/2 day? Leav the stadium. Simon drew boos from many of the fans when he was later used as a pinch-hitter in the seventh. He grounded out in a game Milwaukee won 2-1 in 12 innings. Pirates outfielder Reggie Sanders said he thought the weight of the head on the sausage costume contributed to the fall. ``It maybe made it look worse than it was,'' Sanders said. ``It was an unfortunate situation and, hopefully, it gets resolved.'' ``It was very strange,'' he said. Rick Schlessinger, the Brewers' executive vice president for business operations, said he felt Simon's ``conduct is just unjustified.'' Schlessinger said he was in contact with Larry Silverman, vice president/baseball legal counsel for the Pirates. Ryan Borghoff, 16, who wore the bratwurst costume in the race, called the episode ``unbelievable.'' ``He just hit the costume and she fell over,'' he said. ``These things are so top-heavy that it doesn't take much.'' Borghoff went on to win the race. ``Somebody had to, I guess,'' he said.

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