Updated: 7/10/01 Click here for Zbonia archive


Teens are getting fatter. We went to the teeny bopper Blink 182 concert in the suburbs. I thought teenage girls were supposed to be skinny and hot. They were not. Even after a bunch of 7$ beers, they were still not hot. Glad I went to high school a while ago when teens weren't plump and ugly. Before email I didn't know what Re:, Cc:, and Bcc: were. My favorite position is laying. Then I like sitting. I don't like standing. I really dislike walking. I hate running. I have to walk a lot of places cause besides that the only way I can get to places is cabs and trains and things like that. Unless people drive me. For this reason, I have never been to Ikea. I am very impatient.


Email Attachment of the Week

Joke of the Week


1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and seewhat happens.
5. Put some M&M's on lay away.
6. Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from thebedding department.
8. When someone asks if they can help you, beg into cry and ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone."
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. 10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.'
11. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk ifhe knows where the anti-depressants are.
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels. 13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through whisper "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voice sagain!"
15. Go to the fitting room and yell rea lloud....."Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!" ye.

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

Andrew P Ziola

i don't remember you telling me once

"VanHorn, Nathan"

cause i told you guys 6000 times. i don't feel comfortable doing that

Mark Moroni

seriously - why?

i was gonna copy her on this mail at first, but i thought i'd run it by you...

VanHorn, Nathan


Mark Moroni


can we discuss practicing at tree's place with tricia?

VanHorn, Nathan
I just bought the funslice drum set. should be delivered by friday.

it is a red 5 piece set

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