Updated: 6/26/01 Click here for Zbonia archive


Yesterday was my 26th bday and it didn't make me happy. And that is angry. It made me sad and I can't pinpoint why birthdays make me sad. I think I try and compare where I was a year ago and see what I have done in the past year like getting poon tang and stuff and if I don't think I have done great I get a little pissed. I am going to buy a dishwasher and not have to do dishes cause dirty dishes make me want to vomit. I am looking forward to the 4th of July Holiday and the fun. I don't care that it is USA's bday it is just fun to blow up crap and to drink by pools all day


Email Attachment of the Week

Joke of the Week


Friends don't let friends take home ugly men
Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" its "Hi, how are you?"

Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.

Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, N. Carolina
A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas,Texas
Express Lane: Five beers or less.

-Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA
You're too good for him.
-Sign over mirror Women's room, Ed Debevics, Beverly Hills, CA
No wonder you always go home alone.
-Sign over mirror in Men's room, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA
The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.

Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington.
Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington
Beauty is only a light switch away.

Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.

Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.
Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top


i am hungry like the wolf

and crazy like the crazy train

"Helen Jane"

you're hard to kill, eh?
i thought you were crazy like a woooooolf


that is wack

maybe it moved to yo' insides and became a non-itchy one

ya that whole moth in fridge thing did nothing to fix my hate of the bug population

if i was a bug i would be a fly cause i am so hard to kill

"Helen Jane"

i got a squito bite on my arm last night.
and i felt like i was up for 3 hours scratching it.
and this morning, there was no mark at all.

phantom mosquito strikes again.


i fuckin hate bugs

a moth flew in my fridge the other day and i was very pissed at

"Helen Jane"

very nice symbol.
my symbol would be a cheeseburger.

my grill is dirty cause i use it so much.
latest thing is bbq.
bbq ribs. bbq brisket. bbq stuff.
spiders live in my grill and they are fat on bbq.


only used it the one time so far but kim and margitt coming over tomorrow and we are grillin

and we might use it again this Sat after cubs game

i wish my name was smokey joe

note graphic thing attached or embedded

i want people to call me

"the asshole formerly known as Z" - this is my symbol

"Helen Jane"

how do you like your new grill?


you rule helen that is fucking funny

"i'm with stupid -->"

"Helen Jane"

z gave me cancer and all i have to show for it is this lousy t-shirt.


you mutha fuckin soup - you gave me cancer
you mutha fuckin cement - you gave me cancer
you mutha fuckin jelly - you gave me cancer
you mutha fuckin hair gel - you gave me cancer
you mutha fuckin looseleaf paper - you gave me cancer
you mutha fuckin brown crayon - you gave me cancer
you mutha fuckin tree - you gave me cancer
you mutha fuckin Z - you gave me cancer

"Helen Jane"

paint can give me cancer.
glue can give me cancer.
pork can give me cancer.

gin can give me cancer.
fat can give me cancer.
watching tv can give me cancer.

all the live long day.


my boss is total sold on the fact that it is a boy cause she wants a boy

so i think it will be a girl

tan can give you cancer - so can smoking and everything else in life

"Helen Jane"

i am tan as well.

tan is great.
tan is good.
let us thank it.
cause we should.

i'm feeling better today.
sprite and juice and water and ham and cheese.
all of these things are good.

fun fun to find out boy or girl.
which one do you think it is?


i am sad to hear you being sick

it is summer finally and hot as hell and i am tan and i am a man and i
wanna get canned and i hate the name stan and and and

my boss just left to find out what kinda baby she gonna have - black or

actually boy or girl

and and and

"Helen Jane"

hey hey hey
back at work today
hey hey hey

been sick for the last many days.
some stomach bug.
keep throwing up.
and today i could finally ride bart.

i don't ever want to throw up on bart.

i'll mail your sweatshirt out this week.
so you can wear it to the fourth of july celebration.
cause sometimes it gets chilly at night.


hey hey hey hey hey
where you been?
hey hey hey hey
how you doin?
hey hey hey

Love, Z E-mail me if you have anything you want to post on this page - - stats