Updated: 6/10/03 Click here for Zbonia archive


I have had enough with my neighbor. He thinks I am loud. I think I am gonna show him loud. I get to do things. Things are great. I don't get people that would rather sit around or sleep. I started putting some sugar in my coffee. I wish that water was not so important because I am getting a little sick of it. I do favors for you all the time and when I ask you for favors you forget and I have to remind you 5 times to do something.

Email Attachment of the Week

Joke of the Week

1. Grachki (grach'-key) is Chicagoese for "Garage Key" as in, "Yo, Theresa, waja do wit da grachki? Howmy supposta cut da grass if don't git intada grach?''

2. Uptadaendada (up-ta-da-en'-dada) as in, "Joey, you kin ride yur bike uptadaendada alley but not acrost or I'll bust yur butt . . ."

3. Sammich. Chicagoese for sandwich. When made with sausage, it's a sassage sammich; with shredded beef, it's an Italian beef sammich, a local delicacy consisting of piles of spicy meat in a perilously soggy bun.

4. Da. The definite article is a key part of Chicago speech, as in "da bears" or "da bulls" or "da Mare" - the latter denoting, for as long as he wants it to, Richard M. Daley, or Richie, as he's often known.

5. Jewels. Not family heirlooms or a tender body region, but a popular appellation for one of the region's dominant grocery chains, to wit, "I'm goin' to da Jewels to pick up some sassage." As in most Chicago pluralizations, the "S" is pronounced with a hissing sound, rather than the usual "Z" sound of American pluralizations.

6. Field's: Marshall Field, a prominent Chicago department store. Also Carson Pirie Scott, a major department store chain, is called "Carson's," etc.

7. Tree. The number between two and four. "We were lucky dat we only got tree inches of snow da udder night."

8. Prairie. A vacant lot, especially one on which weeds are growing.

9. Over by dere. i.e. "over by there," a prolix way of emphasizing a site presumed familiar to the listener. As in, "I got the sassage at da Jewels down on Kedzie, over by dere."

10. Kaminski Park. Perhaps the high concentration of ethnic Poles makes people want the White Sox to be playing in this mythical ballpark, rather than in their true home, Comiskey Park (a.k.a. "the Joan", "the cell").

11. Frunchroom as in, "Getottada frunchroom wit dose muddy shoes.'' It's not the "parlor." It's not the "living room." In the land of the bungalow, it's the "frunchroom," a named derived, linguists believe, from "front room.

12. Uze. Not the verb but the plural pronoun "you." "Where's uze goin'?"

13. Downtown. Anywhere south of the zoo and north of Soldier Field near the lake.

14. Boyztown: A section on Halsted Ave., between Belmont and Addison, which is lined with gay bars on the west and east sides of the street. "Didn't I see uze in Boyztown in front of da Manhole?"

15. Braht: Short for Bratwurst. "Gimme a braht wit kraut."

16. Cashbox: Traffic reporter slang for tollbooths. "Dere's a delay at da cashbox on da Skyway."

17. Goes: Past or present tense of the verb "say." For example, "Then he goes, 'I like this place!'"

18. Guys: Used when addressing two or more people, regardless of each individual's gender.

19. Pop: A soft drink. Don't say "soda" in this town. "What kinda pop you got?" A soda is made with ice cream and flavored carbonated water.

20. Sliders: Nickname for hamburgers from White Castle, a popular Midwestern burger chain "Dose sliders I had last night gave me da runs."

21. The Taste: The annual Taste of Chicago Festival, a huge extravaganza in Grant Park featuring samples of Chicagoland's fine cuisine. Takes place around and before the Fourth of July holiday.

22. "Ji-eetyet": this is used to ask "Did you eat yet?"

23. Winter and Construction: Punch-line to the joke, "What are the two seasons in Chicago?"

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

Moroni Mark

you lost your chance - i think if i were to take a pic now it'd be kinda disappointing.

From: Angela Mills

you've got 48 hours for full recovery until the next game.
i'm waiting to see it, maybe a pic?!?

Moroni Mark

i treated it last nite...

seems to be subsiding.

my ass thanks you for your concern.

From: AZiola@focal.com

how is the boil on your ass?

Love, Z E-mail me if you have anything you want to post on this page