Updated: 5/8/01 Click here for Zbonia archive
is it better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all? i dunno. losing sux. i am a winner. being a winner a lot of times is better than being a lover.
Email Attachment of the Week
Leopard Skin Hat = $100 . . . . Matching Thong Bikini = $80 . . . . Having your picture taken on the beach with your tampon string showing . . . . . C'mon say it with me... PRICELESS!
Joke of the Week
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. (Apparently this has happened to several people?!)
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an ass hole.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends leave.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy."
Email Train of the Week
"Passin, Deborah" To: email@example.com Subject: remember me? 05/03/01 04:47 PM Hi Andrew, I've met you a bunch of times through Barb. I'm friends with her and Katie. I hope you don't mind me emailing you out of the blue, but Barb mentioned to me that you and your friends buy bleacher tickets for the Cubs games. I'm trying to find someone who I can buy one or two tickets from for this Saturday's game. Do you have any extras you can sell or do you knowanyone who does? Thanks, Debbie Passin (312) 601-6109
AZiola@focal.com: we are goin but don't have any extras barb hates me see ya
Barbara.Hubeny: way to redeem yourself andrew. and you wonder why i don't like you. you are such an asshole.
Andrew P Ziola: look at email below joe hubeny's sister fucking hates me
Shin: Wait, Barb is Joe's sister? Dude, you piss off a lot of people. What was that girls name that you said her dad was a bad lawyer? Dude, that is such a great e-mail train!!!
Andrew P Ziola: this is her - barb is joes sister and their dad is the bad lawyer
Shin: SO FUNNY!!!!! It all comes around. But Joe is cool with you right? I thought that he was pissed at you too.
Andrew P Ziola: me and joe talked about it - ya he is fine - he is pissed that barb got him involved but joe is cool