Updated: 5/6/03 Click here for Zbonia archive


My life would be just a little better if there were no more auto-respond emails. I don't care if you are going to get back to me within 24 hours just get back to me please. Papercuts blow big time. I am surprised they have not yet invented paper with less dangerous edges. I get things done like an insane head. Tuesday is my best day for doing this. I have always thought that names like Bill are dumb. Their name is William how in the hell do you get Bill from that? They should be Will for short. Oh my how one's life changes in the course of a year. I can't say I am happy for people.

Email Attachment of the Week

Joke of the Week

Jiveman1: Sheeeet, man, that honkey mus' be messin' my old lady got to be runnin' col' upsihd down his head! Subtitle: GOLLY, THAT WHITE FELLOW SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE OR I WILL PUNCH HIM.

Jiveman2: Hey Holm, I can dig it! You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap upon you man! Subtitle: YES, HE IS WRONG FOR DOING THAT.

Jiveman1: I say hey sky, s'other say I won say I pray to J I get the same ol' same ol. Subtitle: I KNEW A MAN IN A SIMILAR PREDICAMENT, AND HE ENDED UP BEING SORRY.

Jiveman2: Knock yourself a pro slick. Gray matter back got perform' us' down I take TCBin, man'. Subtitle: DON'T BE NAIVE ARTHUR. EACH OF US FACES A CLEAR MORAL CHOICE.

Jiveman1: You know wha' they say: See a broad to get that bodiac lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em. Subtitle: EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE, MAKES A MAN HEALTHY, WEALTHY AND WISE.

Together: Col' got to be! Yo! Subtitle: HOW TRUE!

Together: Sheeeeeeet! Subtitle: GOLLY.

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

"Mary Beth Yurko"

yah. i remember.
katy and i used to think you were hot, but then we saw you nekked so
many times, we were a little afraid of you.
i remember one particular party at renee row, where i turned my head
and you were standing on an electrical box. i was like "whoa. college is wild."

after that, we hung out with you and i think the shock of it happening
wore off.

you get naked any time in public since the university?
From: AZiola@focal.com

i used to get naked a lot

"Mary Beth Yurko"

during homecoming, we had dress up day.
my bro dressed up as a woman.
my dad and my mom went to a party as twins and so therefore we had
men's size banana yellow high heels.
he wore those. he has nice calves.

prob. the weirdest thing i did in hs was to dress up all weird and go
interview for an international modeling contest. that and i had a
talking star trek lunch box shaped like a head. for some reason, no boys
would ask me out.

From: AZiola@focal.com

no we didnt but i think i also wore a kilt once and the dean said
if i wore it to prom he would not let me in

"Mary Beth Yurko"

you get in trouble?

i dressed up all weird for my senior id card pictures and they made
an announcement about it on the intercom.

From: AZiola@focal.com

ya we wore like long underwear with a suit jacket over it

"Mary Beth Yurko"

maybe i should bust up my sister's prom this friday?

my mom is actually helping w/ pictures and my sister's all

i think she may be planning to have a few cocktails.

you do funny dance stuff at benet?

From: AZiola@focal.com

that is why i told mills i would go

i have not been to a hs dance since hs

they are funny as hell

"Mary Beth Yurko"

i drank an entire bottle of boone's straw. hill prior to hs
christmas dance.
i puked in the bathroom and told a teacher and my parents i
thought i had food poisoning.

From: AZiola@focal.com

i also smelled booze on a kids breath

"Mary Beth Yurko"


they smoke afterwards?

From: AZiola@focal.com

no i asked ms mills and she said no
so we let them 'finish'

"Mary Beth Yurko"

nasty. you make em stop?

From: AZiola@focal.com

no - a lot of them dance

we caught these ugly kids dancing REALLY dirty - like
chick was bent over
in fuck position and guy was pretending to f her and slap her ass

"Mary Beth Yurko"

you are hot.
did the girls stand on one side of the room and the boys
on the other?

From: AZiola@focal.com

i basically just walked around with angela and talked
to kids and they all told angela i was hot the following monday
at school

"Mary Beth Yurko"

did you dance with the kids?

slow dance?

spike the punch?

take me through, minute by minute. this is good stuff.

From: AZiola@focal.com


it was funny

"Mary Beth Yurko"

no way! that's hilarious. did you chaperone?

From: AZiola@focal.com

i went to a hs dance

my girl is a hs teacher

"Mary Beth Yurko"

wait. hold on, did you actually go to a high school dance?
or did you digitally create the background?
i'm mystified.

From: AZiola@focal.com

the picture? it took roughly a second to snap it.

"Mary Beth Yurko"

you are such a goob. ha ha
how long did you take doing that?

From: AZiola@focal.com


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