Updated: 5/13/03 Click here for Zbonia archive


I don't eat fruit. I fucking love being a human. Working and living and doing shit is so fun. The word process sucks. I hear it at work all day long and at home when I watch the Bachelor. Fuck it. Someone think of a new word for it. I have learned recently that people don't tell me stuff anymore at all really for fear of my big mouth. I don't really care about this but I do feel bad that no one tells me stuff. So basically I have to hear about life changing events of my close friends through the grapevine. I guess I am not gonna link other sites on this page with the fear of pissing people off that piss me off.

Email Attachment of the Week

Joke of the Week

Q: Why couldn't the blond pass her drivers test?

A: Every time the car stopped she jumped in the backseat.

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

"Matt Batt"

i had to forward you this e-mail train from one of my clients and me. this guy is hilarious and i sometimes forget that he's a paying client. thought you would get a good laugh from the comments....

From: the crack team [mailto:info@thecrackteam.com]

the man hole? sounds like a great 'date place'. personally i prefer 'the jackhammer' or 'the tipsy gerbil'. and just remember Homer Simpson's famous words when bart was hanging out with a gay man...."He didn't give you GAY did he??"

and good point about using the front entrance. that's why i like you matt, you're always using your head BUTSERIOUSLYFOLKS!

we'll talk next week and i'm counting on you to make me the Crack King, the Tshirt King, and the Franchise King. it's a mighty order but i got faith....not george michael faith. which is a gay thing........happy gay of course.

From: Matt Batt

good point. being married myself i too appreciate my wife's tremendous amount of patience and tolerance. i see your point but think its gay. (ok....this is by far the most times i've ever used the word gay in an e-mail train.)

have a good weekend and i'll start passing out the crack team t's at chicago's very own gay bar...'the man hole'. i'd better bring my wife for protection though (and enter in the front as opposed to their regular back door entrance).

ok....you've got me rolling now.....and have gone too far. talk to you next week.


From: the crack team [mailto:info@thecrackteam.com]

see, i beg to differ......a guy can always find some girl that likes him. but if dudes want you then you really got the mojo working. then again i'm married so i can talk like a hotshot when in reality i'm hen-pecked and just happy that my wife doesn't yell at me when i walk in my own home.

From: Matt Batt

I agree! I'll get back to you next week with some developed thoughts (media lists & pitches).

I like gay people. I'm gay...happy-gay of course. Gay-gay people are fine with me if they don't target me. But I'll target their pubs.


From: the crack team [mailto:info@thecrackteam.com]

you're probably out hitting golf balls right now or shmoozing with the Par King (do you think he's got a space for his car that says "reserved parking for par king"?)

anyhoo.........hopefully there's potential in using our apparel as a PR item, so keep me posted on any ideas you or the Fishteam has.

we can zone in on college kids, gay people (not happy-gay but gay-gay), gay people (not gay-gay but happy-gay), celebrities, pseudo-celebrities, wannabe celebrities, celebrity groupies, etc.

i think this could be fun.

Love, Z E-mail me if you have anything you want to post on this page