Updated: 2/26/02 Click here for Zbonia archive


This I am going to Colorado for my first time this week. I think it might be neato. I am not definite. I will tell you when I get back. I am gonna say it again - please don't rob my house. I am saying this for your safety because I have a new mean dog that kills people and my crazy cousin Teddy is staying at my place with his gun when I am gone. Life is a trip. Nuts. Every week something kinda kooky happens to me or people I know. If it wasn't like this everything would be boring. I am moving to a fun new cube at work. Bowling playoffs start tomorrow but I am more excited about softball. We are returning to the same league as last year so hopefully we will do a lot more winning. I was just in the elevator with two girls carrying a heavy box. I think I would have helped them if they were hot. And yet another instance from the -ism (note above).


Email Attachment of the Week

Joke of the Week

Aaron - ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff.
Adam - cute, funny, chicks dig him, well hung but very caring.
Adrian - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.
Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.
Alex - cute and short but a liar and a cheat.
Amir - dirty, smelly, pecker is minuscule.
Anastasi - is a compulsive sick liar, incestuous and hung like a tortoise.
Andrew - gay and has a small pecker.
Antonio - has a great body and beautiful skin, and chicken brain.
Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls, smells of wee.
Arnold - loser.
Arthur - hung like a slave and celibate.
Barry - lights fires, pinches girls bottoms and is well hung.
Ben - funny and can be real difficult to beat at games.
Bob - quiet and unpopular, eats with his hands.
Brad - thinks everyone likes him...but they don't.
Brandon - good looking but uses girls.
Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.
Brett - world wide slut and really insensitive, women love him.
Brian - mean and only thinks of himself, no he's not the Messiah he's just a very naughty boy.
Bryan - sexy, but stupid - can't spell.
Bronsen - annoying and never grows up - has a stupid name.
Bruce - stinks bad and thinks everyone else's name is also Bruce.
Bryce - fun to be with and will make you laugh, you'll kill him within a week.
Calvin - immature in a naive way, drives a Gemini.
Cameron - Australian.
Carl - thinks he's funny...he's not, falls asleep during sex.
Carson - fun to be around and really sensitive.
Chad - cute, sensitive and very studly - only found in American movies, no real person has that name.
Charles - can't trust him, eyes too close together.
Chris - cool ,great guy, huge nob.
Christian - very sexy and seductive.
Clark - hilarious and always in trouble, problem with 'jailbait'.
Cliff - very sweet and adores girls, but very superficial.
Cole - nice, funny, and fun to be around.
Colin - lies to women and blows up public
Cory - funny but ugly, ends up running fashion
Craig - tries to fit in - he never does.
Damon - total loser in a sweaty sort of way.
Dan - quiet but funny, but becomes easily
addicted to
Dane - weird but can hold together a
conversation with a
Daniel - enjoys root vegetables in every
Darren - charming , but sleeps with men.
Daryl - smells bad, has no real mates
David - hotty and works out a lot, loves girls named Florence.
Dave - extremely sexy, always funny, intelligent, stylish, trendsetter i.e. a wanker.
Dean - full of himself and thinks with his dick.
Dennis - either very nice to girls or a faggot.
Derek - has a great sense of humour, and blow-up doll
Dominic - hilarious and will do anything to please.
Don - dickhead.
Doug - has a greasy face, drinking problem and farts.
Drew - bad-arse loser who never shuts up.
Duncan - hopeless ski bum, brains shot away long ago.
Dylan - horny. bastard, who can't sing.
Dwayne - cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.
Eddie - wants too many chicks he'll never get cos he's an arsehole.
Elliott - full of himself.
Eric - shy.
Evan - a little slow but sweet, sexy, and model
mental patient.
Frank - "different" - missing DNA - favours girls named Lucy.
Fraser - sucks pigs dicks & swallows the lot.
Gareth - sweet but dresses too good to be straight.
Gary - drug addict but willing to share.
Gavin - likes bondage, S&M with other men.
Geoff - prefers golf to sex and war to peace.
George - barman who drinks more than he serves.
Glen - the sweetest guy - really down to earth.
Greame - very hard to understand, likes group sex.
Graham - will screw anything.
Grant - HORNY! but so sweet and you can talk to him about anything.
Greg - really sweet and feels sorry for himself.
Harry - covers his back.
Harvey - cute, but addicted to sex and/or drugs.
Hathem - smooth, but very manipulative, not to be trusted around young girls.
Haydn - tries hard.
Howard - likes small-breasted women and pornography.
Ian - really popular but knows all the girls
want him...yeh right!!!
Ivor - militant psychopath with homosexual tendencies.
Jake - shy and sweet but a slut when drunk.
Jamie - scum of the earth.
James - built like a horse.
Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well.
Jeff - really ugly.
Jerome - gay, but very unhappy.
Jeremy - loud and thinks that he's all that he says he is.
Jesse - unpopular and needs to move on.
Jack - stupid but hot, always alright.
Jim - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection.
Joe - built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head.
Joel - arse.
John - has no friends or life - tends to kill small animals.
Jolyon - absolute raving homosexual.
Jonathon - think he's good - he's shit.
Jordan - sexy but weird in bed.
Jose - hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites.
Josh - full of himself, fun.
Junior - hotty and totally good at netball.
Justin - aggravating but lovable, insecure but
Kain - the sexiest guy alive but very stuck up.
Kevin - always attracts really fit girlfriends also has a large penis,
really nice to women.
Keith - good person to talk to when you have a problem - his is worse.
Kenneth - very, very...anything you want him to be.
Kurt - can kick anyone's arse.
Kyle - hornball who eats too many cornchips.
Larry - cute but wannabe player with big arse.
Laurey - short and funny looking.
Lee - girl dressed up as a boy, total arse bandit.
Lewis - lonely, sad git, bit of a tosser.
Lyndon - can always be found in bed or in the pub.
Liam - loud mouthed arsehole.
Lorenzo - fine and dresses in stolen gold.
Lucas - fat loser that dates other men.
Luke - seems to be sweet.
Malcolm - tall man who tends to lose his trousers.
Mark - wished girls liked him for who he is not his great looks, mouthy bastard though.
Matt - the fat boy of the class, likes sweets and is full of shit.
Michael - very good looking but he'll do anything for a sheep.
Mick - always drunk, tendency for drug abuse.
Mohammed - small penis
Nathan - stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel dumb.
Nick - nice - can't get past the missionary position though.
Neil - sweet and will do anything in this world for you, great in bed.
Oliver - likes men but is in denial.
Oscar - loser.
Owen - cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.
Patrick - drunk, drunk, drunk.
Paul - cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in gays.
Peter - cutie but very shy, makes women feel like virgins.
Phillip - stupid idiot who wishes he were cool.
Rhys - great lover but had his mind stolen by aliens a long, long time ago.
Richard - can't see his feet as balls are too big
Ricky - ugly shithead who everybody hates.
Rikki - see above.
Rob - constantly watches porn.
Roy - total loser and computer genius.
Rupert - arrogant twat who is crap in bed but thinks he is a stud.
Russell - likes to play in the leaves which makes him an arsehole.
Ryan - short but sexy body and even sexier mind.
Sam - wannabe sex machine.
Scott - has serious disabilities.
Sean - has small testicles and no friends.
Seth - so sweet to other people but is a traitor.
Shane - thinks everybody wants to shag him - he's a virgin.
Shannon - the most determined and persevering sweetie in the world.
Shaun - bit of a hard bastard, thinks women love him.
Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Talks bollocks.
Spencer - loves it right up there, normally with a toilet roll and a hamster
Steve - popular and funny when looked at side-on.
Stuart - droll guy with great arse and suicidal tendencies but great in bed.
Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.
Toby - best blow ever.
Tom - cool but can be arrogant.
Tony - hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around.
Travis - fat and horny with the best XXX collection to be found.
Trevor - sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy.
Troy - cute and popular.
Taylor - gay.
Warren - cool, homosexual guy.
Wesley - great guy and easy to tolerate.
Will - wishes he were popular.
Zach - sweet and polite and adorable.
Zahid - devious and sly. Not to be trusted.

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

Andrew P Ziola

ya phlegm with blood is not my strong suit


i grossed out Z dawg!
i can't believe it!

today, i can do ANYTHING!

From: AZiola@focal.com

ok i can't hear anymore

poo and pee don't bother me

this one does for some reason


i wish nougat.
then i could have had a morning snack.

just blood.
it was really gross.

From: AZiola@focal.com

what were the veins filled with? blood? or noogat?

yeagerhj@Well sFargo.COM

in the shower this morning,
i coughed.
and out of my mouth shot a golf ball sized wad of phelgm.
it landed on the wall and slid down.
not being content to let it go down the drain,
i picked it up and looked at it.
and it had veins in it.
and it was really gross.

okay, now i grossed mySELF out.

From: AZiola@focal.com

tell me more about this gross stuff


good thinks.

i just wanted to share with you that i have some gross things coming out of my nose and lungs.
(this is because i have a way with the ladies as well)

From: AZiola@focal.com

yeager family reunion.

i think cheese curds and horse-shoe contests


the fun slice logos are fun
i guess i can send them to you today...
i am having fun working on them tho still...

yeager family reunion.
what do you think of when you read that?

From: AZiola@focal.com

i think you are right

i think the funslice logo is going to be fucking awesome too


don't sweat it.
july is really far away.

miss cleo told me you won't become more annoying.
and she's on tv so i believe her.

i think i get to make the invites and t-shirts and stuff.
and i think they're going to fucking awesome.

From: AZiola@focal.com

i would love to go

i just don't wanna commit to anything yet

again, i would be honored and i would totally LOVE to go so count me in

unless you hate me cause i become more annoying


i think the marquette reunion is that weekend too.

but maybe you'd wanna come with me up north to ishpeming?
if you don't that's okay.
i'm just going for saturday.
but i think you'd have fun.

it's in nature.
and we can go boozin with the locals.

there's lots of time for you to change your mind.

From: Charlie Yeager [mailto:cyeager@maresa.k12.mi.us]


The Yeager Family Reunion will be in Ishpeming the weekend of July 27th. I will send more information soon, but I thought that you might like to mark your calendars. Please forward this to all those I don't have e-mail addresses for - Thanks!

Check out our new house:



Charlie Yeager

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