Updated: 11/13/01 Click here for Zbonia archive


OK I have been using the handkerchief since I was 17 and I got my first handkerchief related injury last nite. I went ahead and did some nose blowing and got this little cut on my lip so I looked into the handkerchief and found a hard crusted booger snot on there. The hard crusted booger snot cut my lip. Schmoopie is going to the vet tonite and I hate taking her there cause I don't think she likes it at all and that makes me upset. And it is very difficult to get her in the carrier thing. I need a haircut but I don't feel like going. The lady that vacuums the elevators in my building has an enormous butt. The sun goes down early now. I want to see down. I think I had my first cup of coffee in 5th grade. I figure I can drink about 15 budweisers. Joe's little brother got married. OK I think I am adult for sure since I went to a friends younger brother wedding.


Email Attachment of the Week

Joke of the Week

What is 40 feet long and smells like urine?

Line dancing at the nursing home.

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

hilary hehman - scientician60@hotmail.com

alright guys, i'm closing the hotmail account. i have to go form a good argument as to why giving a bag lunch to a muslim for dinner during ramadan

is unconstitutional. any thoughts?

phony moroni, nice chattin' at you. andy z, what can i say? i want your body.


put your pimento away,
you're scaring the network guy


i wish i had a pair of olive undies to nibble on


upside down, it looks like a butt wearing olive undies.

"hilary hehman" scientician60@hotmail.com

i'm disturbed that hating black olives categorically makes you an *all* olive hater. very misleading. i do enjoy the green olive, stuffed with pimiento, garlic, jalapeno... blue cheese for that matter - what i don't like is its bastard bitter cousin.

however, if you must extoll the virtues of those disgusting orbs of the devil, i suggest you visit this site:


its where all the freaks like you gather.

Mark Moroni"

maybe we can just narrow it down to one patch for a 'lifetime black olive lover'

kinda like the lifetime achievement award for black olives.


if i got a patch for every times i have eaten olives

my whole body would be covered in patches - 15 layers of patches thick


that works.

i think you should be eligible for patches based on the number of times you declined olives

like if you declined olives 5 times, you get the olive oil patch.

you decline 'em 25 times, you get the olive branch patch.

and you sew the patches on a sash.
or put the patches on a hat.

z, you can get patches for the number of times you ate olives.

Mark Moroni

in chicago the hating of black olives can be a subsidary of hating olives in general.



mark, hilary and i would really like you to be in the 'i hate black olives club'

you can head up the chicago chapter and they can specialize in all kinds of olives to hate.

over in the california chapter, we focus mainly on hating black olives.


that can be another club

"Mark Moroni"

how about "i hate olives in general"??


you guys want to join my club - I Love Black Olives
or Helen Jane's club - I Hate Black Olives



we could have friendly debates.
discussions if you will.

we could have high spirited contests.
"how many olives in the jar?"
"how many dirty martinis can you drink?"
"where's the sexiest place you've eaten an olive or avoided an olive?"

maybe we should go securing the site names,
you know, before someone takes 'em


i would like to form a sister club

you sure our clubs can be friendly t each other?


not from here, but i'll send it to you tonight from home. maybe i can make the sister club be the "i love black olives club"

and it can coexist peacefully with the i hate black olives club as a testament to peace.

and your club could have its own logo too.

and maybe i could bite your finger.


can i see the logo?


you can't belong to the "i hate black olives" club then. sorry.

we have t-shirts and newsletters and everything. the logo rocks.


i love all olives so much

my favorite are green but i do love black too

i am pretty much creaming in my pants just thinking about a pizza with charleston chews on it


spank it.
cover it in marshmellows and charleston chews.
rest your butt on it.
do-si-doe around it.
put a spell on it.
throw ham on it.

do you like black olives?

Love, Z E-mail me if you have anything you want to post on this page