Welcome everyone to the 2006 Mullet Bowling League Banquet
(Cassin's Speech)

My name is Rex Fury and I think the 2006 season was a good time had by all, and now that the bowling year is over, I look forward to a summer filled with
getting loaded at Sox games and beating up coaches on the field,
sitting on lawn furniture outside my trailer……
shootin' guns…
and goin' to high school prom with my 18 year old girlfriend…in this new suit

At this time, I would like to recognize each team for all of their Mullitude through the season……in rhyming fashion, as I did last year.


Mulleta Fagina were the newcomers to the scene
They celebrated like they just ate some Mexican Jumping Beans
They looked good through the regular season, but could the rookies really win?
I'm not sure we could even allow that, wouldn't it be a sin?
As you faltered through the playoffs, and one member kept drinking her wine
The only good thing I can say is… Damn it, Mike, your blonde mullet wig was better than mine.

Got Mullet?, another new team
With their Whistles and other noise making crap, could they really gleam?
9th place was not where you wanted to be at the end of the season
I am not sure how to explain it, was there even a reason?
You were fun, drank some beers and wore a great team uni
Plus, it was good the two parole officers didn't take down Mike Rooney.

The MULLETIZZLES, finished in 8th place this year
Same spot you were in one year ago?! Oh Dear!
You guys were fun to play against, so I guess we will give you a pass
Except for Scott, will you ever be able to stop falling on your ass?
Although this one year pass will soon have to expire
Just like Andy's Jersey and Brett Farve himself…both should retire.

Mullet Divers, family of team Gus
They were a fun team to play against, so I won't put up a fuss
Although each week, it seemed like they had the advantage of a home game
Your massive cheering section should have brought you fortune and fame
So, it must feel like your 7th place finish is a bit of a fall
But, your not rookies anymore!!!….Stop using the house balls!

The ANIMULLS are as experienced as a team can be
With players like Nathan, Tricia, Ang and a man name Z
You started off hot, stealing some games like a seasoned thug
Then the team broke up a bit, because of Robey the Pug
All I can say is…..better luck next year
But a bit of advice…stick around after for a beer.

The Metal Mullets. We knew we could win it again this year.
Not much changed, except for ordering stanky Blue Moon beer
Well…..on the other hand….Kristen was new
She was no Krebsback, but hey, what can you do?
So why couldn't we repeat, even with my playoff choking pulls
Wait, I know….it was the shitty DJ music of Flock of Seagulls!

Porn Mullets, the only team to keep the same regular and post season place.
You knew that they would be in this Championship race
However, for some reason, they stopped wearing their porn shirt
And it looked like their game may fall in the dirt
They held it together and missed the Championship by only a fraction
With a 104 average Shin, the engagement must have been a major distraction

The Mulletinis snuck into 3rd position
How did that happen? Maybe it was due to a simple transition
You had both Gills and they were rolling it well
But who else was there, Styzen? Phil? Sheri? Lana? Eash one was swell.
So, I guess, who cares, let's drink and be Merry
Although, with what happened at last year's banquet, you might want to cut off Sheri.

Mulletov Cocktails seem to always be up near the top
Each year you know they are going to be the cream of the crop
They show up with their snazzy flame shirts
By the time they get done with you, it really hurts
As usual, they were in it until the very last game
However, (and this joke does not get old) they can't seem to win the big one, just like Weiss and old Notre Dame

Viva La Mullet was the Cinderella story
From last place to 2006 Championship glory
They were able to make some changes to turn around the season
A 12 pound ball and a curling style throw, was the main reason
Although, you were lucky to get out of the first round with a sub filling Emily's term
But, I guess we all have to give it up to you …Congratulations Viva La Herm!

Thanks to everyone for such a great season…..

and a special thanks to Z and Melissa for all of their efforts.