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Party One Liners ideas

Hopefully this list of Party One Liners ideas will inspire you. it really is one of the highlights of fun times


Even though you are can't think of one yourself - check out these ideas and suggestions for great one liners.

  • Hear no evil, speak no evil and you'll never be invited to a party. ~ Oscar Wilde
  • At every party, there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t; the trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
  • "A man is at the funeral of an old friend. He approaches the dead man's wife, and asks if he could say a word. The wife says that yes, he could. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says 'Plethora.' The wife smiles, and says 'Thank you, that means a lot.'"
  • The more food you prepare, the less your guests eat.
  • I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
  • I don't believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties. ~ Samantha Jones (Sex and the City)
  • I am thankful for the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends. ~ Nancie J. Carmody
  • She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
  • I didn't do it on porpoise.
  • You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I’m hot under the collar.
  • Abash: A high school graduation party.
  • "Where does a king keep his armies?" "In his sleevies."
  • One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. ~ George Carlin
  • At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. ~ Ann Landers
  • You'd be surprised how much fun you can have sober. When you get the hang of it. ~ James Pinckney Miller
  • Someone said that life is a party. You join in after it's started and leave before it's finished. ~ Elsa Maxwell
  • "How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?" "Look for the fresh prints."
  • Drink, and dance and laugh and lie... Love the reeling midnight through... For tomorrow we shall die!~ Dorothy Parker
  • Deep breaths are very helpful at shallow parties.
  • "Why did the old woman fall into the well?" "Because she couldn’t see that well."
  • "I was wondering, why does a Frisbee appear larger the closer it gets? Then, it hit me."
  • "If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic."
  • Never be the first to arrive at a party or the last to go home and never, never be both. ~ David Brown
  • "What's the the best thing about living in Switzerland?" "I don't know, but the flag's a big plus."
  • You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not "professional" anymore. ~ Jeff Foxworthy
  • The less I behave like Whistler’s Mother the night before, the more I look like her the morning after.
  • "A thief broke into the police headquarters during the night and took all the toilets. Cops say they have nothing to go on."
  • Gee, what a terrific party… later on we’ll get some fluid and embalm each other.
  • I don't know a lot about politics, but I can recognize a good party man when I see one.
  • Sometimes I'm so bored at a party, I'll slip myself a roofie.
  • He who does not get fun and enjoyment out of everyday, needs to reorganize his life.
  • Nothing is more irritating than not being invited to a party you wouldn’t be seen dead at.
  • If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it. ~ Herodotus
  • There are shortcuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them. ~ Vicki Baum
  • What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
  • If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun. ~ Katharine Hepburn
  • Good friends get drunk with you. Best friends hold your hair back when you've had a bit too much to drink.
  • "Dad comes to his son and tells him he's adopted. The boy screams. 'I knew it! I wanna see my real parents!' Dad replies, 'We are your real parents, son. Pack your stuff, they're waiting.'"
  • … what is your host’s purpose in having a party; surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose they’d have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
  • If you go to a party, and you want to be the popular one at the party, do this: Wait until no one is looking, then kick a burning log out of the fireplace onto the carpet. Then jump on top of it with your body and yell, "Log o' fire! Log o' fire!" I've never done this, but I think it'd work. ~ Jack Handy
  • Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here, shall we dance?
  • Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got twelve months.