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Paint Puns

Paint - Puns and Jokes - So Much Pun - funny puns ...


Puns and paint. So fun!

  • What's the main difference between an electrician and a painter? An electrician washes his hands AFTER he has gone potty, but a painter washes his hands BEFORE he goes potty.
  • Why do artistic wives love football season? Because their husbands sit on the sofa long enough for them to be sketched.
  • What does a painter sing when he's in Dire Straits? "Monet for Nothing".
  • Why can't Frank Gore get into his own driveway? Someone painted an endzone on it.
  • Where does a cow hang his paintings? In a mooooseum.
  • What do you call someone hanging on a wall? Art.
  • Did you hear about the painters messy house? It was "a work-in-progress....."
  • What did the artist say to the rival? I Challenge you a doodle!
  • Bought some graffiti proof paint. It’s unremarkable.
  • Did you hear about the artist who died? Too many strokes.
  • A ship load of red paint crashed into a ship load of blue paint. The crews were marooned.
  • Did you hear about the guy who stole all those paintings?
  • Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!
  • What is the definition of disgusting? Seeing a painter bite his nails.
  • Did you hear about the artist who paints in jail? He had a brush with the law.
  • Which painting is never happy? The Moaning Lisa
  • What do you call a mixed media artist without a girlfriend? Homeless.
  • When asked why he had painted his front door yellow, Sherlock Holmes replied “Lemon Entry, my dear Watson”.
  • What did the painter say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster ya.
  • Why was the painting arrested? Because it was framed.
  • He tried to brush it off, but I think he was framed.
  • A painter friend has some of his work in view at the local gallery. He did the skirting boards.
  • On my way to an 80s themed fancy dress party, I asked my wife to paint stripes on my face. “Are you sure?” she asked. “Yes, I’m adamant”.
  • What does a pirate steal in his spare time? Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt.
  • Why did the painter butter his toast with his fingers? To feel its texture.
  • Saw a chap painting pictures of bikes on a local church roof. Cycleangelo.
  • Why did the artist get into an argument with the curator at the art gallery? He wasn't in the right frame of mind.
  • Did you here about the attempt robbery at the museum? They had ran out of gas a few blocks away when the police caught them, and they said, "We didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh"
  • Did you hear about the new blonde paint? It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.
  • Why do we paint Easter eggs? Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
  • What did Michelangelo say to the ceiling? I got you covered.
  • What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
  • A bald friend painted rabbits on his head. They look like hares from a distance.
  • How did the cheese maker paint his boat? He double Gloucester.
  • What do you call a painting by a cat? A paw-trait.
  • How does Salvador Dali start his mornings? With a bowl of "Surreal"
  • Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he didn't have an ear for music.