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Houston Rockets Jokes Jokes  

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  • What's the difference between the Houston Rockets and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  • What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals? The Houston Rockets.
  • Why are Houston Rockets jokes getting dumber and dumber? Because Rockets fans have started to make them up themselves.
  • What do the Houston Rockets and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  • How did the Houston Rockets fan die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him!
  • Why do ducks fly over the Toyota Center upside down? There's nothing worth craping on!
  • What does a Houston Rockets fan and a bottle of beer have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
  • How many Houston Rockets players does it take to change a tire? One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
  • Why doesn't Fort Worth have a professional basketball team? Because then Houston would want one.
  • What's the difference between the Houston Rockets and a pinball machine? You can score more points against the Rockets.
  • How do you keep an Houston Rockets player out of your yard? Put up a basketball net.
  • How do the Rockets spend the first week of training camp? Studying the Miranda Rights
  • Did you hear that Houston's basketball team doesn't have a website? They can't string three "Ws" together.
  • What do you call a Houston Rocket in the NBA Finals? A referee.
  • How do you keep a Rockets fan from masterbating? You paint his dick Los Angeles purple and gold and he won't beat it for years!
  • How do you stop an Houston Rockets fan from beating his wife? Dress her in Los Angeles Purple and Gold!
  • What's the difference between an Houston Rockets fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
  • According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives. The other 9 percent are Houston Rockets fans.
  • What is the difference between a Rockets fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after awhile.
  • What should you do if you find three Houston Rockets basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement? Get more cement.
  • Why do Houston Rockets fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces.
  • How many Houston Rockets fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
  • What is a Houston Rockets fan's favorite whine? "We can't beat Los Angeles."
  • What do the Rockets and a nail have in common? They are both good till they hit the wood.
  • What do you call an Houston Rockets player with a championship ring? A thief.
  • What does an Houston Rockets fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals? He turns off the PlayStation 3.
  • If you have a car containing a Rockets power forward, a Rockets point guard, and a Rockets center, who is driving the car? The cop.
  • Can a Houston Rockets player drive a stick? Only if they remove the clutch.
  • How do you casterate an Houston Rockets fan? Kick his sister in the mouth
  • What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Houston Rockets fan? The bucket.