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Clock Puns

Clocks - Puns and Jokes - So Much Pun - funny puns ...

Puns and Clocks. So fun!

  • I saw a billboard with a picture of a clock on it. I guess that’s a sign of the times.
  • I’m hungry. Can I have seconds? No, but you can have a few more minutes.
  • Where did the clock finish the race? Wherever it wound up.
  • What dog always knows the time? A watch dog.
  • I’m a percussionist. It’s time to play my clockenspiel!
  • What do you call a tense clock? All wound up.
  • For sale: Clock with half a face. For a limited time only.
  • Interesting to hear about plans to install a clock face on the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It will have the time and the inclination.
  • Why didn’t the cuckoo come out of his door? He had stage fright.
  • What does a wall clock do after it stops ticking? It hangs around.
  • I used to have a friend who kept changing the sound that his alarm clock made. I wonder what he’s getting up to now?
  • Had a look at the cuckoo clocks. Tickety boo.
  • Why did the pendulum stop moving? It lost its swing.
  • How can you tell when your clock is hungry? It goes back four seconds.
  • Clocks are cool. (that’s not a pun, but five is a nice, round number.)
  • What did the robber say to the clock? Hands up!
  • Why did the girl sit on her watch? She wanted to be on time!
  • Why did the scientist drop a wrist watch into his flask? He was looking for a timely solution.
  • Got a new 24 hour clock yesterday and it’s broken already. It only lasted a day.
  • Why did the man throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
  • What did the sea captain say to the clocks on the galley? All hands on deck.
  • Why was the clock in the gazebo? It was time out.
  • How can you tell if a clock is hungry? It’ll go back four seconds!
  • My hands are never still. They’re always ticking and tocking.
  • I love grandfather clocks big time.
  • What did the street clock say to the tower clock? High there!
  • There’s a competition to find the country’s best time piece. I’ve put my clock forward.
  • What did the unwound clock say to its owner? It’s about time!
  • What did the watch say to the clock? Hour you doing?
  • It’s time for some puns.
  • Went to a fancy dress party as an alarm clock. Got really irritated, everyone was winding me up.
  • What did the second hand say to the hour hand as it passed by? See you again in a minute.
  • What do you get when you cross a clock and a chicken? A cluck
  • What do you call a story that one clock tells to another? Second hand information.