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Garden Puns

Garden - Puns and Jokes - So Much Pun - funny puns ...


Puns and Garden. So fun!

  • New gardeners learn by trowel and error.
  • What what can you make from baked beans and onions? Tear gas.
  • Compost is best aged a little like a fine wine. I mean, would you prefer to drink a nice 97, or something that was made last Thursday.
  • If I could only grow green stuff in my garden like I can in my refrigerator
  • Why shouldn't you ever iron a four-leaf clover? You might press your luck.
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
  • When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
  • The difference between weeds and flowers is the weeds are the easiest ones to pull out.
  • Spring does not arrive until the ice is out of the compost heap.
  • What did the alien dandelion say to the earth dandelion? Take Me To Your Weeder!The tree trimmers did a great job! They really should take a boughWhat do you call a cow who works for a gardener? a. A Lawn Moo-er.
  • What do you call a land where the people drive only pink cars? A pink carnation.
  • Why was the potato crying over his vodka and tonic? It was his cousins.
  • New Year's resolution for the bankrupt gardener was to forget the past, and rely on the fuchsia...
  • Winter does not arrive until the ice is IN the compost. Until then, all bets are off.
  • I once heard that the most popular thing to download on the internet is corn.
  • New gardeners learn by by trowel and error.
  • AD for ant traps. "Will kill ants for 3 months."
  • Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
  • Some River Valleys Are Absolutely Gorges.I Just Got Garden Supplies at Gnome Depot.Why did the farmer quit? His celery wasn't high enough!
  • The best way to garden is to put on a wide brimmed straw hat and some old clothes. And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to dig.
  • The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
  • Why do melons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
  • Compostaphile and Compostaphobe -- To rot or not to rot . . .
  • Another unwritten rule of gardening -- any self-respecting rock will break at least one shovel before accepting its new home.
  • Grow your own dope........Plant a man
  • Organic farmers till it like it is.
  • Successful bonsai grower had to move to a house with a smaller garden.
  • Grass is just a flower bed in waiting
  • Every garden is unique with a multitude of choices of soils, plants and themes. Finding your garden theme is as easy as seeing what brings a smile to your face -- Teresa Watkins
  • What kind of flowers grow in outer space? Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.
  • . . . do they come back to life then as zomby ants?
  • Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They are difficult to get started, emit foul smells and don't work half the time.
  • Why did the tomato and the corn fall in love? He whispered sweet nothings into her ear.
  • A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
  • What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
  • A good compost pile should get hot enough to poach an egg, but not so hot it would cook a lobster.
  • How to stop a dog from digging in a garden. Start right! Never let the dog see you digging . . . Doggy see, doggy do
  • Insect Puns Really Bug Me! Garden gnomes are often stolen. Gnome wonder why ALL aren't?A Girl Said She Recognized Me From the Vegetarian Club, But I'd Never Met Herbivore.
  • What is a gardener's favorite novel? War and Peas.
  • When kissing flowers, tulips are better than one.
  • Gardening requires a lot of water - most of it in the form of perspiration.
  • Someone keeps dumping soil all over my allotment. I don't know who's doing it; the plot thickens.
  • There is something missing from my flower bouquet, she said lack-a-daisy-cally.
  • Headline: Dog attacks topiary cat.
  • I left packet a of seeds in my pocket and my coat turned into a Chia jacket
  • For this tree pun, I had to go out on a limb and branch out to some other sources.