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Catchy Status Messages

Everyone loves good Catchy Status Messages


See some super catchy status messages status:

  • Everyone has that one friend that makes them LOL.
  • Hi I'm James, let's bond.
  • Dog: It's raining!
  • I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
  • They say "don't drink and drive". Well.... yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. Yeah. I'm a badass.
  • I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent.
  • I'm actually quite pleasant until I'm awake.
  • The good thing about pictures is that they never change, even if the people in them do.
  • That awkward moment when you have a crush on the most inconvenient person possible.
  • Celebrating Valentine’s Day with my liver.
  • Girl: "I love you" Boy: "I love me too"
  • I dance like a car dealerships inflatable tube man.
  • Chicken: If you don't find any status update from my side, It means I am being served at restaurant.
  • Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
  • It's funny how all trust goes away when you can't find the remote. ''Are you sitting on the remote?'' No. ''Stand up''.
  • Keep scrolling, I got nothin.
  • Our language is called the mother tongue because the father never gets a chance to Speak.
  • I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
  • Just Wondering that she is 18 and pregnant will come back on 34 as grand-mom.
  • Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
  • That moment when you try talking to someone you're hot for and you say GFBLQRINABAH instead of "I'm good thanks!"
  • I am 100% done with today and about 37% done with tomorrow.
  • Why didn't you reply to my text? Well, how am I supposed to reply to LOL?
  • God is really creative, I mean...just look at me.
  • Those who say money can’t buy happiness are shopping at the wrong places.
  • When life gets tough, remember: You were the strongest sperm.
  • I don't have goals. Goals are for soccer. I'm not soccer.
  • Sometimes I prefer to use my face as emoticons.
  • If you think I hate you... I probably do, Goodbye.
  • People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
  • My relationship is like an iPad. I don’t have an iPad.
  • Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you.
  • Why do parents get so upset about little things like goddamn I left a plate in the sink not a dead body.
  • You must learn swimming because you're missing 3/4 of the world.
  • A big shout out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money!
  • I'm writing a story about a man with a small garden. It doesn't have much of a plot.
  • Remember, there are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for you. Push and Pull.
  • At first I didn't like my beard, then it grew on me.
  • When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me.
  • Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
  • If I went to hell, it would take me a week to realise I wasn't at work.
  • Today is the first day of the rest of your life...And if that doesn't work out for you, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life...
  • I tried being normal once. Most boring hour of my life.
  • Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
  • Before talking; Please connect the tongue to the brain!
  • Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
  • Wife: I'm pregnant, what do you want it to be? Husband: A joke.
  • Shout out to all the 90's baby's, with no babies!
  • Keep your head high and your middle finger higher.
  • One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
  • Line dancing was originally invented by women waiting in line for the bathroom.
  • oh I’m sorry! i didn’t realise you were giving me a dirty look…i just thought you were ugly like that all the time!!
  • When I get a pimple on my tongue I always feel guilty in case I've told a white lie.
  • Everyone is normal until you add them as your Facebook friend.
  • The first 5 days after the weekend are always hard.
  • Was going to rob a bank today but the pen was chained to the desk.
  • I'm not single, I'm just romantically challenged.
  • I put the 'Me' in 'Someone' and things get awkward.
  • I think it's really cool how the word "OK" is a sideways person!
  • I am practicing my signature over and over again , in case I become famous.
  • Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
  • *Don’t goes on Facebook for a week* Expectations: 23 Friend Requests. 9 Messages. 56 Notifications. Reality: 1 game request notification.
  • Back in 5 minutes (If not, read this status again).
  • The only reason god made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.
  • For others it may Valentine's Day, but for me it's Thursday.
  • Looking at school books and thinking - What a waste of a tree!
  • Pig: Oh Gosh, they throw the gossips that I'm spreading flu.. What the hell!
  • I am not dying for a stable relationship but yes.. a stable connectivity matter a lot!
  • Love is quite strange and funny thing. No matter how hard I try and try, I just can't say goodbye.
  • Justin Bieber was arrested this morning for using men's toilet.
  • I really need a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
  • That moment when a question on a test is so hard that even your inner voice is like "Fuck this shit lets work at McDonald's".
  • Nothing is illegal...Until you get caught.
  • Nobody around here treats me like a glamour model, so I'm just going to sit here taking selfies by myself.
  • Birthdays are good for your health. Studies show those who have more Birthdays live longer.
  • I`m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.
  • Keep calm and know Google can help you find a way to fix almost every problem. If not it will tell you who can fix it.
  • May I go to the toilet = I'm fucking bored.
  • T.G.I.A. (Thank goodness I'm awesome!)
  • Free Food? with WiFi? Okay, I'll go.
  • The amount of sleep required by the average person is just five minutes more.
  • Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
  • Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you turn on is the microwave!
  • Welcome to Facebook, where relationships are perfect, liars believe their own lies & the world shows off they are living a great life.
  • I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
  • That moment when someone you met for 3 seconds sends you a Facebook friend request.
  • I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
  • If we make social networking blogs for animals, their status would be like:
  • Why bother reading books? We have Eminem he can read a whole story in 4 minutes.
  • Hard work never kills you - it just keeps you away from social networks!
  • I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
  • For every male action, there is a female overreaction.
  • Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
  • Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money. :').
  • We all have a family member who think they’re a professional photographer.
  • Some things man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google.
  • I hate it when I'm singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.
  • I forgot to work out today. That's 5 years in a row!
  • Taking revenge is wrong...very very wrong.. But very very fun.
  • When I drink alcohol... Everyone says I'm alcoholic. But... When I drink Fanta.. No one says I'm fantastic.
  • I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
  • You didn't notice that that I used a word twice in this sentence.
  • The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.
  • The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.
  • If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
  • About to dance my feet silly!
  • I've found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?
  • I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.
  • If twitter wasn't around in the olden days why is there a hashtag button on landlines?
  • A fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calender says W T F.
  • When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up, it's like having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch.
  • Phew! Thank you, warning label. I was actually considering using my toaster in the shower this morning.
  • Broken pencils are pointless.
  • Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.
  • Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
  • You are a proof that God has a good sense of humor.
  • I finally figured out what mosquitoes are for - they are God's way to make us slap ourselves!
  • “In the arms of an angel…” *turns channel*
  • The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
  • Party instructions: Walk in. Eat as much as you can. Walk out.
  • Remember me? I was your friend - when you were single.
  • ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
  • Yes, I agree. Mums can find everything. Except for the ringing phone in their bags!
  • Relationship Status: Looking for a Wi-Fi connection.
  • Roses are red. Foxes are clever. I want your hug, let me do it forever.
  • You look like I need a drink.
  • The annoying moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching.
  • Really thankful to school for teaching us texting without looking.
  • Yes, I know I can't sing. Yes, I'm going to keep singing anyway.
  • I wasn't drunk, I was just testing if the plant was as soft as my bed.
  • If something's not going right, try left.
  • I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.
  • Everyone is normal until you find them on Twitter.
  • Oooooh, that's a bit too harsh. Let me put a `lol` at the end of it.
  • Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
  • LIKE if you hate it when someone tags you in a photo you look horrible in because they happen to look so good in it.
  • Mosquito: Somehow skipped from someone's footsteps. Huh! There is so much risk and danger in life.
  • The funniest thing in class is when the teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
  • I've got a dig bick. You read that wrong. The awkward when you read that wrong too and said 'Moment' when it wasn't there.
  • Relationship Status: COMING SOON
  • I want to surround myself with funny people and make sure everyone has a good time.
  • "What's up cake?" "Muffin much".
  • Cat: My 10th kitten is asking her dad's name. I don't even remember!
  • It hurts when you go to unfriend someone and you find they've beat you to it!