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Halloween Statuses

Everyone loves good Halloween Statuses


See some super Halloween statuses:

  • The trick for getting a treat for Halloween is to be a little naughty without being too evil.
  • The hardest part of carving a pumpkin nowadays is finding some newspaper to spread
  • I need to stop lying to myself ... This bag of Reese cups will never make it to Halloween
  • When you buy Halloween candy to hand out as an adult, it's like you are paying for all the free candy you got when you were a kid.
  • Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
  • Halloween, that magical time of year when I can buy 10 pound bags of candy and no one thinks it's "a huge red flag."
  • I think for Halloween I am going to go as Karma. Some of you should be worried.
  • I want to be something really scary for Halloween. So this year, I'm dressing up as a phone battery at 3%.
  • Happy Halloween… may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong!
  • I want to be something scary for Halloween so I am going as a positive pregnancy test......
  • For Halloween I’m going as an invisible person. I will be at all your parties.
  • Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles and pay to walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
  • 86% of Americans decorate their houses for Halloween…that means 14% of America is lame.
  • Halloween is a LIFESTYLE not a Holiday!
  • I'm not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom.
  • Creeping and crawling is no way to get through life, but it is the best way to enjoy Halloween.
  • Are you still standing? A dead man is right behind you. Run! Happy Halloween.
  • Couples Halloween costumes always end up looking like one person went along with it to save the relationship.
  • Even those who are merely beautiful on the inside can be adored on Halloween.
  • I need to stop lying to myself... This bag of Reese cups will never make it to Halloween.
  • I need to borrow someones kid for Halloween. I miss free candy.
  • You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
  • I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like “Ugh, tourists”.
  • Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.
  • I love Halloween because it's the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Batman and going home with a cheerleader.
  • Asked my kid what her favorite part of today’s Halloween party and she pointed at thin air and said, “that ghost”…. Now I have to move houses.
  • Halloween is a Magical Night of Make-Believe... Have a Happy Halloween!
  • Tonight I’ll be your bitch! For you I’ll do magic!
  • Wrapping these baby carrots in Tootsie Roll wrappers is exhausting but the payoff will be worth it come Halloween.
  • If whores, witches, ghosts and hobo's show up on my doorstep, I can only assume it's Halloween because our family reunion was in July....
  • Brace Yourself! Annoying Halloween statuses are coming!
  • May this be the scariest night of your life. Have a Happy Halloween!
  • I know what I am going to be for Halloween, I'm going to be drunk. . .
  • Nice try Halloween, I eat candy in the dark and pretend not to be home every night.
  • Instead of paying for a haunted house this year I'm just making the kids clean out the refrigerator.
  • The best part of Halloween is all the Jehovah's Witnesses wondering why they're being given candy.
  • Add 'sexy' to anything and it instantly becomes a female Halloween costume.
  • When the weather outside is frightful, being mischievous is so delightful! Happy Halloween!
  • Halloween is, by far, the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your porch.
  • Are you excited about Halloween? People go out pretending to be something they're not, looking for handouts. It's like running for president.
  • I’m surprised kids haven’t found a way to trick or treat online yet.
  • Love this time of year when I can dig graves in my front yard and people think it's just a cute Halloween display.
  • The main thing I learned from watching my wife carve pumpkins is she’s really good at stabbing things. I should probably be nicer to her.
  • Pro tip: If you really want to freak people out wear a Santa Claus suit for Halloween
  • Halloween parties are more fun when you’ve got a few of your scariest friends to share it with.
  • I was going to change my profile pic to a pumpkin for Halloween, but it didn’t look that much different from my actual head.