Dirty Golf One Liners
Browse through one liners to find funny one liners and cool one liners.
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- My hands are so sweaty, I can’t get a good grip
- What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? Wash your balls.
- What did the duck say to the golf ball? Nothing it should have ducked.
- How do you "Tiger" proof a golf course? By stragetically placing fire hydrants.
- I just shaved the hole
- What kind of model is Paige Spiranac? A hole in one of a kind model.
- He handled those humps really well
- She makes sure he practices having a stroke first to make sure he's handicapped when he meets a blond working at one.
- That’s a very stiff shaft
- Grip it softly and stroke it smoothly
- What's worst than Elin Nordegren smashing your face in with a 9 iron? Lorena Bobbit stealing your putter!
- Why did Arnold Palmer get beat up? Because he walked into the wrong club!
- I’ve had too many strokes, I think I need to change my grip
- Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores? Because subtraction speaks louder than words.
- What did the golfer say after performing yoga? "Damn, my shaft is all bent."
- What is the difference between Rory McIlroy and Princess Diana? Rory McIlroy has a GOOD driver!
- I tugged it a little
- What do you call Jessica Alba joining you and your buddies for a round of golf? Fantastic 4-some.
- Where is the best place to go on vacation? In the Golf of Mexico!
- Who taught Elin Nordegren to swing a golf club? Happy Gilmore.
- A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?"
- How does a brunette keep her husband from a blond working at a golf course?
- What's the difference between a golfball and a Nissan? A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.
- It looks pretty wet down there
- It's not the size of your putter that counts, its how many strokes you take.
- Why don't golfers in England work in the afternoon? Because it would interrupt their tea time.
- I think my shaft is just too long
- The extra length is really helping me get it in the hole
- I’m going to wash my balls, want me to wash yours too?
- Why are golf and sex so similar? They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them.
- Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case he gets a hole in one.
- Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife? Because he thought every day he needed to play around.
- What do you getll a blonde at the driving range? Lift your head and spread your legs.
- That’s a hole to be respected
- After 18 holes I can barely walk
- Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit
- What does a golfer do on his day off? Putter Around.
- How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? He always puts his driver in the wrong bag.
- What do you call a blonde at a golf course? The 19th hole.
- Which course gives Tiger Woods the most trouble? Intercourse!
- What is the similarity between four-putting and masturbation? You are slightly ashamed of what you have done and worst of all you know it will happen again!
- What do you call a lion playing golf? Roarin' Mcllroy
- That guy’s got incredible length!
- I had a terrible round today, I only hit two good balls, and that was when I stepped on a rake.
- He snuck that in the backdoor
- You can either bang it in the back or slip it in gently
- Do you know why the game is called golf? Because all the other four letter words were taken.
- What did the Mormon say to his golfing buddies? After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
- I really enjoyed that threesome/foursome
- What did the golfer say to the hip hop dancer? Everyday I'm Schauffele.
- If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the course sometime.
- What should you do if you're golfing near lightning? Hold your 2-iron in the air, because not even God can hit a 2-iron.
