<link rel="stylesheet" href="/html4/css/skel.css" /> <link rel="stylesheet" href="/html4/css/style.css" /> <link rel="stylesheet" href="/html4/css/style-desktop.css" />

Swedish Jokes

Browse through jokes to find funny things to laugh at and cool jokes.

Check out our complete list of Swedish jokes.

Are you looking for the best joke? Find the perfect joke now.

Swedish Jokes 2019


  • Why do Swedes always drink their milk in the store? Because on the packet it says "oppnas har".
  • What do you get if you cross a swede and a gypsy? A car thief who can't drive.
  • What do Scandinavians eat with their burgers? Swede potato fries.
  • Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Sweden? It's impossible to find three wise men there, let alone a virgin.
  • Why are Swedish jokes getting sillier and sillier? Because the Swedes have started to make them up themselves.
  • Why do swedes always go outside when there's lightning? Because they think someone is taking pictures of them.
  • Whats the difference between a smart Swede and a unicorn? Nothing, they're both fictional characters
  • What is a party game played by Swedes? One Swede goes into a box and the other Swede tries to guess which Swede is in it.
  • How does every Swedish joke start? By looking over your shoulder.
  • Why don't Scandinavians need sugar? Because they already have artificial Swedeners.
  • Why do Swedes always drink their milk in the store? Because on the box it says "oppnas har".
  • Why did the vampire like eating Scandinavians? He had a Swede tooth.
  • What is the shortest book in the world called? Swedish geniuses.
  • What did Elin Nordegren wish Tiger Woods before she hit him with a golf club? Swede dreams.
  • What do you call a cat that can put together furniture from Ikea? An Assembly kit.
  • What time was it when the monster ate the Prime Minister of Sweden? Eight P.M.
  • A swede called the airline and asked how long it would take for a plane to get from Stockholm to Paris. "Just a moment," the clerk said. "Oh, thank you," the swede replied and hung up.
  • A Swede was reading the phonebook, "Forsberg... Forsberg... Forsberg... It's incredible how many phone numbers that guy has."
  • Why do the swedes cut holes in their umbrellas? Because they want to see when the rain ends.
  • I asked my Swedish friend "Who are the dumbest Scandinavians? He said "Norway am I going to answer that question."
  • What's the difference between Swedes and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
  • What are beautiful women in Sweden called? Tourists.
  • Why wasn't Jesus born in Sweden? He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
  • Why do swedes bring sand paper with them when they travel in the desert? Because they need a map.
  • What happens when a blonde moves from Sweden to Norway? The average IQ in both countries goes up.
  • Where do desserts go on holiday? Scone-dinavia.
  • What does SAAB stand for? Swedish Autos Always Breakdown.

Find More