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Safety Jokes

Browse through jokes to find funny things to laugh at and cool jokes.

Check out our complete list of safety jokes.

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Safety Jokes 2019


  • What do safety Managers use for birth control? Their personalities
  • How can you tell an extroverted safety Manager? When he talks to you, he looks at your safety shoes instead of his own
  • What do you call a guy who falls down all the time? Tripp
  • Following safety rules is like boxing; if you keep you're guard up, you're less likely to get hit in the face!
  • Knock Knock. Who's There? Eye Wash. Eye Wash Who? The girl with the chemicals in her eyes, duh!
  • Watching a group of guys lift boxes is like watching the evolution of man, except the upright guy isn't the most advanced.
  • When does a person decide to become a Safety Manager? When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.
  • A fire extinguisher and smoke detector walk into a bar. The bartender looks around then says "Hey guys, where's the fire?"
  • Things you should never yell during an emergency: Run! Move! My life is more important than yours!
  • Things you shouldn't use in place of a ladder: rope, indoor potted tree, stacked chairs, human pyramid.
  • An elementary class is visiting the farm for a field trip. The teacher goes over the rules and says "Horseplay is dangerous, so it's not allowed here." One of the kids raises his hand and asks, "Then what do horses do for fun?"
  • Why did the crossing guard cross the street? Because that's his job!

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