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Plane Jokes

Browse through jokes to find funny things to laugh at and cool jokes.


Check out our complete list of Plane Jokes .

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Plane Jokes 2019

 

  • How do you know your friends broke? When they get mad they can't afford to fly off the handle so they gotta go greyhound off the handle.
  • If you masterbate on a plane do they charge you with "hi-jacking"?
  • What do you call a space pilot who lives dangerously? Han YOLO
  • How is Southwest Airlines capitalizing on Tiger Woods infidelty woes? By introducing a special Tiger Woods rate where mistresses fly free!
  • A plane crashed and every single person died except two, Why? Because they were a couple.
  • What do you get when you put a flight stick in an egg? A yoke.
  • What do you call when you're sick of being in the airport? Terminal illness
  • What do you call a black pilot? a pilot, you racist.
  • What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
  • How do you know your overweight? You have to purchase two airline tickets.
  • Why don`t ducks tell jokes when they fly? Because they would quack up!
  • What happened after Ms Piggy and an unnamed feral pig were married in a lavish ceremony over the weekend? The Swine Flu to Hawaii on flight H1N1
  • What do you call the movie where pilots fight to take off? The Hanger games.
  • What do you a call pilot that took economics? Anna F
  • What do you call a flying primate? A hot air baboon!
  • What do you get when you cross an airplane with a magician? A flying sorcerer
  • What's the difference between a fighter pilot and God? God doesn't think He's a fighter pilot.
  • Why did everyone want to sit next to Lisa Nowak (AstroNut) on her return flight to Texas? Because they knew she wasn't going to get up for any bathroom breaks
  • Why do ducks fly over Oklahoma upside down? There's nothing worth craping on!
  • What do you get when you cross an airplane with a magician? a flying sorcerer.
  • What do you call a pregnant flight attendant? Pilot error.
  • What's the difference between a fighter pilot and God? God doesn't think He's a fighter pilot.
  • What do you call a plane that's about to crash? An "Error Plane"
  • Whats the difference between a jet engine and a flight attendant? At the end of the flight the jet engine stops whining
  • How do you know you're flying over Poland? Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.
  • What seperates three whores form two alcoholics? The cockpit door!
  • Where can you find Tom Cruise on a flight? In Risky Business class.
  • how come in airports,they park the planes outside? They don’t belong in buildings
  • Why do 747s have humps? So the pilot can sit on his wallet.
  • Wanna know how to make a small fortune running a charter airline? Start out with a large one.
  • What do you call when you're sick of being in the airport? Terminal illness.
  • What's the difference between a pilot and a pepperoni pizza? A pepperoni pizza can feed a family of four.
  • What do you call a plane that's about to crash? An "Error Plane"
  • Why can't spiders become pilots? Because they only know how to tailspin.
  • Can bees fly in the rain? Not without their little yellow jackets
  • Hawe you seen the romantic comedy with David Dao? It's called "10 Things I Hate About U-nited"



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