<link rel="stylesheet" href="/html4/css/skel.css" /> <link rel="stylesheet" href="/html4/css/style.css" /> <link rel="stylesheet" href="/html4/css/style-desktop.css" />

Driving Jokes

Browse through jokes to find funny things to laugh at and cool jokes.


Check out our complete list of Driving Jokes.

Are you looking for the best joke? Find the perfect joke now.

Driving Jokes 2019

 

  • I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
  • A Kentucky State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-75. He says to the driver , "Got any ID ?" The driver says, "Bout what?"
  • With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too.
  • A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
  • Last Father's Day my son gave me something I always wanted: the keys to my car.
  • My wife had her driver's test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.
  • Police officer: "Can you identify yourself, sir?" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: "Yes, it's me."
  • Why shouldn't women be able to drive? There are no roads from the bedroom to the kitchen!
  • What is the best way to get to Paradise ? Turn right and go straight .
  • Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
  • My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
  • What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? Some traffic signs say stop .
  • A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws ."
  • Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  • How do you know that the driver driving toward you is a physicist? He has a red sticker on his bumper , saying: "If this sticker is blue, you are driving too fast."
  • Two blondes were driving to Disneyland. The sign said, "Disneyland Left". So they started crying and went home.
  • Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac ?
  • Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.
  • I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
  • Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.



Find More