Do you know a "happy" person? You know... the type of person that is always happy, permanently optimistic. The type of person that has a warped sense of reality, that sees the silver lining in everything? What kind of drugs are these people on? Is it possible for anyone to be so fucking naive? It's called denial.

Tell these people to turn on the TV or read a fucking paper instead of living in their fairy-tale dementia. Bad shit is happening in the world. At the very least keep your half-witted delusions to yourself and leave me the hell alone. Better yet, let's make them all clean port-a-potties for a living and see if they can find the silver lining in that.

In the meantime... if you really want to know what makes them so delusional, try this...

Happy Juice


8 cups of Mountain Dew (Keep the bottle)
1 bottle of Spiced Rum (Or vodka)
Bag of Pixy Stix


1)Drink about one-fifth of the soda bottle. 2) SLOWLY add entire bag of Pixy Stix to the soda, capping it when it threatens to bubble over and shaking occasionally. 3) Add desired amount of liquor and shake well (don't fill all the way up or it will be hard to shake). May be drunk straight from the bottle or poured into smaller beverage containers.