Z-Bonia

Updated: 9/28/04 Click here for Zbonia archive

Words

I got stopped on the street the other day by a panhandler. He asked me for $20. I looked at him like he was nuts asking for that much money and I told him I had no cash. I lied. Then has asked for $10 and I said no, then he asked for $1. I just got on my scooter and drove away. If you have your way of doing something and you won't accept the way I do things, don't ask me to do something for you because there is a 90% chance I will fail in your mind. My arm hair is getting longer and this is making me a little nervous. I think I have wrote that before. If I have, I am sorry.

Email Attachment of the Week


Joke of the Week

Things You'd Love to Say at Work, but Can't

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

From: jason hoover [mailto:jason.hoover@skja-engrs.com]

I wish that was your name also.

From: "Ziola, Andrew" <Andrew.Ziola@broadwing.com>

i wish my name was Z Pubes

From: jason hoover [mailto:jason.hoover@skja-engrs.com]

...and he doesn't even have facial hair. Unacceptable.

From: "Ziola, Andrew" <Andrew.Ziola@broadwing.com>

beard?

that chick got cool name

From: jason hoover [mailto:jason.hoover@skja-engrs.com]

Her name's Jeremy Beard:
JBeard@dearborn.com

From: "Ziola, Andrew" <Andrew.Ziola@broadwing.com>

cool does he/she have email?

From: jason hoover [mailto:jason.hoover@skja-engrs.com]

Hey,
My cousin recently moved to the city and would be interested in filling
in if we need a sub for softball some week. He's a good guy, plus he
played baseball in college.
Just a general FYI...

see you tonight

Love, Z E-mail me if you have anything you want to post on this page