Z-Bonia

Updated: 8/19/03 Click here for Zbonia archive

Words

Hey. My hair looks good today. I think it is interesting when people my age call me sir. I would not be able to be here if coffee went away. I think my favorite piece of clothing to wear is underwear and my least favorite is shirts. I am very grateful that toilet paper is paper and there is no such thing as toilet sharp rocks.

Email Attachment of the Week


Joke of the Week

New Constitution

The following has been attributed to State
Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. The guy should
run for President.....

"We, the sensible people of the United States, in an
attempt to help everyone get along, restore some
semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our
nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure
the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and
our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one
more time to ordain and establish some common sense
guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden,
delusional and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold
these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of
people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so
dim that they require a Bill of No Rights."
ARTICLE I:

You do not have the right to a new car, big screen
TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if
you can legally acquire them, but no one is
guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II:
You do not have the right to never be offended. This
country is based on freedom, and that means freedom
for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the
room, turn the channel, express a different opinion,
etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably
always will be ... and like the rest of us you need
to simply deal with it.
ARTICLE III:
(I like this one!)
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a
screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful;
do not expect the tool manufacturer to
make you, and all your relatives independently
wealthy.

ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be
found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we
are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation
after generation of professional couch potatoes who
achieve nothing more than the creation of another
generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to free health care. That
would be nice, but from the looks of public housing,
we're just not interested in free public health care.
ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other
people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or
kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us
want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of
others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods
or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if
the rest of us get together and lock you away in a
place where you still won't have the right to a big
screen color TV, pool tables, weight rooms or a life
of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII:
You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure
want you to have a job, and will gladly help you
along in hard times, but we expect you to take
advantage of the opportunities of part time jobs,
education and vocational training laid before you to
make yourself useful.
ARTICLE IX:
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an
American means that you have the right to PURSUE
happiness -- which by the way, is a lot easier if you
are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws
created by those of you who were confused by the
Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X:
(my personal favorite,)
This is an English speaking country. We don't care
where you are from. We welcome you here. English is
our language and like the one you left behind, we
also have a culture. Learn it or go back to the
country and the living conditions you were fleeing.

If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you
don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you if
you don't. I just think it is about time common
sense is allowed to flourish -- just call it "The
Age of Reason Revisited."

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

Andrew P Ziola

i like this ...

tyanez@hotmail.com

Z, I appreciate you, dog. Hey, since you bleed Cubbie blue, I have to tell you I took my eldest, Lucas, to his first Cubs game Sunday night at historic, majestic Wrigley (against the Braves) - it was a write of passage of sorts. We rode the Red Line over there and everything. I was so pumped I even toyed with the idea of taking him over to the Cubbie Bear for some pregame frosties, but responsibility got the better of me and so I nixed it. Overall, it was pretty damn cool, and hilarious. I think the part he liked best was the Cracker Jacks. "Can I have some more honey popcorn?" Before the game started some singing group did the national anthem; "Why are those people singing?" Good question, son. No idea. Then after the end of the first half inning; "Is the game over?" Hell no, Luc, there's a lot more where that came from, boy. Just sit back and relax, and enjoy the honey popcorn while I toss back this Old Style. Can you say "Old Style?" Good times. His eyes were as big as golf balls the whole time and it didn't take long for him to figure out that this was a pretty cool place. About the second inning he said, "Maybe we can come back here tomorrow." Good thinking, son. Good thinking. :-)

From: "z@homemail.com"

yo i dropped your CD in the mail this AM

> >party > >

Love, Z E-mail me if you have anything you want to post on this page