Z-Bonia

Updated: 7/9/02 Click here for Zbonia archive

Words

People must really enjoy pooing at the toilets at my work cause it really smells like ass bombs in there a lot. I don't get why people write $0.04 instead of writing 4¢. 4¢ is way less key strokes dude. All I hear out of your mouth is complaint things. I don't really wanna talk to you now ever cause I don't wanna hear about icky things that have happened to you, so when I say how are you? Please just reply with fine. I might be living in new home soon. The condo. Wack. I ain't buying it but Dupee is and I pay rent. This is an interesting process to look at the condo and find a home and junk. I like nice places. I currently live in kind of a dumpy place I call ZBurbia.

 

Email Attachment of the Week

Joke of the Week

Moments of Zen (Modified to reflect contemporary wisdom):

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me the hell alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles
begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're
going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 4. Sex is like air. It's not
important unless you aren't getting any. 5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted. 6. No one is listening until you fart. 7. Always remember you're unique.
Just like everyone else. 8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 9. If you think nobody
cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 10. Before you criticize someone, you
should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you
have their shoes. 11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 12. Give a man a fish
and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 13.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 14. If you tell
the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 15. Some days you are the bug; some days you
are the windshield. 16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. 17. Good judgment comes
from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. 18. The quickest way to double
your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 22. Generally speaking,
you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 23. Experience is something you don't get
until just after you need it. 24. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 25. We are born naked, wet,
and hungry, and get slapped on our ass ... then things get worse . 26. The most wasted day of all is
one in which we have not laughed.

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

Amy Dowsek

Of course not

Ziola

my intent is not to pull the wool over my mommas eyes

http://www.drodd.com/images/May12_01.jpg

Amy Dowsek

If you don't bring it up you can probably skate out of it

Ziola

i don't know yet

Amy Dowsek

Nice, you don't even have to pay for it?

Ziola

nope

my mom already got dupee a shirt and i am gonna give it to him

Amy Dowsek

So you can just update it and viola, you got yourself a cheap fathers
day gift

Ziola

i think they forgot i made that piece of shit for them

Amy Dowsek

PM

What? You treat your dad like that? You update yours everyday

Ziola

i have not updated that site in like 4 years

Amy Dowsek

Thank you. I will visit often

Ziola

my dupees website

http://users.ntsource.com/~gziola/

Amy Dowsek

Perhaps, but they'd also be like.. oh my God, our son SMOKES?

He is the devil

Ziola

no you can

and they will be like

who in the fuck is this amy chick?

So I probably shouldn't send them an email on my own, huh?

Ziola

that is my plan

Amy Dowsek

Better off not telling them I guess

Ziola

they would feel sad

Amy Dowsek

They'd be upset with you? Disappointed?

Ziola

my parents don't know i am a cigarette addict

Amy Dowsek

Good point.

I probably wouldn't tell her I was a drug addict if it were true

Ziola

well that is nice. your momma can't call you a drug addict

at least from last weekend

Amy Dowsek

No drugs this weekend.

Thank you for asking though.

Ziola

were ya smokin a little weed up there too?

Amy Dowsek

More near the sky cause I was on a rooftop

But yet also close to the beach

Ziola

well that sounds fun. were you near water or sand?

Amy Dowsek

I drink pretty much anything

On sat. I was drinking Malibu and fruit punch.

Ziola

i drink vodka and pineapple juice when that happens

Amy Dowsek

I do too

Or if I have drank too many beers the night before and need something else

Ziola

mikes

i like wine coolers and that when i am near water

Amy Dowsek

Jacks hard lemonade
Or Mikes?

Did you spill it out or drink it?
Do you like that hard lemonade?

Ziola

i also found a bug in my jacks hard lemonade on saturday

Amy Dowsek

I don't like when they do that cause then I won't drink out of it
again.

Gross.

Ziola

schmoopie likes drinkin out of my water cup too

Amy Dowsek

Sometimes it's better that way

Ziola

ya but she is an animal and she doesn't understand when i talk to her

Amy Dowsek

You do, with your cat

Ziola

well that is fun. i don't watch tv with anyone.

Amy Dowsek

I think it does more than that.. I think I can get emails on it, but I
don't know how to start it up..

Ya, sometimes I watch tv with joe.. his knee is broken so he can't
really do much other than watch tv

Ziola

why don't you put peoples phone #s in there

you still chilling with joe? like watching tv with joe.

Amy Dowsek

My current one I like a lot

So, I got this palm or ipac type thing today and I don't know what to
do with it, how to use it, etc..

Ziola

my cube rules

Amy Dowsek

Nah, bummed because my view is so incredible here and then I gotta go
over there and work in a dump staring at a cube wall.. Sucks!

Ziola

woah

you nervous?

Amy Dowsek

PM

444 North Michigan

from

401 North Michigan

Ziola

where you moving?

Amy Dowsek

Bbbl

I'm moving office in a little over a week

Ziola

they know i know her and they know her too

she works here yo

Amy Dowsek

Tell em you know her

Ziola

no horn

i just overheard some coworkers being all like - wow she is so hot - about miiri

Amy Dowsek

You gonna put a horn on it?

Ziola

i am plannin on it

Amy Dowsek

That's exciting. You will drive it into work?

Ziola

no i am hoping silver

Amy Dowsek

Pink one?

Ziola

i am putting some $ aside and i am gonna buy a scooter in a month or so

Amy Dowsek

I got to drive a car the other weekend and it was pretty fun

Wish I had one

I hate my new email cause it capitalizes the first letter of each new
sentence

Ziola

i am excited

i am not gonna drink and i am gonna drive the car

Amy Dowsek

Maybe things are ok for you

I am excited.. not excited to get dressed up though.

Ziola

i don't know

everything has been real quiet here

a little too quiet

are you excited or couldn't give a shit for this saturday?

Amy Dowsek

You are getting snippy.. you want to hang out with her, I was trying to
make suggestions on how you could...

Yep, they'll be canning people within the next 30 days I think.
Yourself?

Ziola

i don't fucking know

so how is work? they firing people?

Amy Dowsek

I don't she's got anything going on Friday this weekend

What about in the week?

Ziola

i have asked her b4 - she has always had other shit going on

Amy Dowsek

Why don't you ask her or tell her.. she's got some free time I know

Ziola

i wanna hang out with ahneta again one day

Amy Dowsek

Thank you. I try and shower when I can

Ziola

you are not smelly

Amy Dowsek

You are a good liar

Ziola

you are a good emailer

No, just extra ben

Ziola

extra pao?

Amy Dowsek

I am having a ben pao salad

Ziola

i am back

i had bacon burger

Amy Dowsek

Really? I was just wondering cause I was reading an article on how
McDonald's is gonna be cooking it up over in Hawaii...

Portillo's rules!! Enjoy it.

Ziola

i can't honestly tell you if i have ever even eaten it in my life

i am going to portillos today

Amy Dowsek

Thanks.

Do you like/eat spam?

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