Z-Bonia

Updated: 7/8/03 Click here for Zbonia archive

Words

I forgot to talk about this - I am 28 so I am a little older. I don't love to do stuff on weekday nights and then when I do get there I am pretty happy that I went. Spam has gotten completly out of control. I think I get around 70 spam emails a day at work. This has become pretty annoying. I have some tired today. What is up with that. I got the same amount of sleep last night as the night before and I have slammed some coffee and I still can fall asleep on the drop of a cap. People like talking about the Cubs with me. Like I think they know I will always talk about it so they bring it up. I am sick of the rain. Please stop rain. I like launching things.

Email Attachment of the Week


Joke of the Week

Here are some facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in
May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell so
brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the
custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house
had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the
women and finally the children-last of all the babies. By then the water
was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw
the baby out with the bath water."

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood
underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and
other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became
slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the
saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a
real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really
mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the
top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence
the saying "dirt poor."

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when
wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the
winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the
door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the
entranceway. Hence the saying a "thresh hold."

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always
hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They
ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for
dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the
next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite a
while. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge
in the pot nine days old."

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a
sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little
to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid
content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and
death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so,
tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of
the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust."

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyardshift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

Mark.Moroni

scopé in the buttholé

From: AZiola@focal.com

it smélls like garbagé

Mark.Moroni

does it sméll?

From: AZiola@focal.com

my fiancée made a bowél movémént on my z-péd

Mark.Moroni

i just made a

bowél movémént

From: VanHorn, Nathan

my fiancée is going to the ball game

Our fiancées are going too.

From: AZiola@focal.com

we got tix to cubs sox game if you guys get tix to cubs sox let us know
and we can sit and drink and watch baseball together

"Paul Fruzyna"

Shea and I are going to see Alk3 and Sum 41(me) Everclear (Shea) on
Saturday at Summerfest. If you guys decide to change plans it would be great to
sing, hug, and point together.

Love, Z E-mail me if you have anything you want to post on this page