Z-Bonia

Updated: 5/7/02 Click here for Zbonia archive

Words

I really hate the emails that I get that are simply, "Thanks!" Like I post something on the intranet for someone and I tell them and they reply with "thanks." I mean come on. I know you are greatful. You don't have to flood my inbox with these emails. My friends are getting old. People don't like partying any more and they can't drink for more than 1 day in a row. This is not good or bad. It is just different. These people should just go and have the kids or whatever. I have not felt very artsy recently. We did shoot a rock video this weekend which is neat.

 

Email Attachment of the Week

Joke of the Week

Pre-Booty Call Agreement

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the
"Agreement")
is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2002,
by_______________________, between ____________and______________.

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it
in
the morning.

2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events
of
the evening.

3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.

4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.

5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do
you
love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.

6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup,"
unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced
arrangement.

7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.

8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of
your damn business.

10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends,
just fuck buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.

12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind
when you leave.

13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up,
get dressed and go the fuck home.

14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.

15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My
roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."

17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye
contact the better.

18. No condoms, no fucking.. Carry your ass home.

19. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.

20. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for
your ass.

* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the
agreement.
If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this
Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then
be
removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and
email
list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until
your silly ass understands the rules.

Participating Party

Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________

Participating Party

Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

Andrew P Ziola

oh that is better

Shin

internet porn actually.

Andrew P Ziola

i am glad that porn makes you think of me

Shin

then don't believe me. I just thought you would appreciate it. And it
totally made me think of you when we found out what the convention was.

Andrew P Ziola

i don't believe you then

i need proof

Shin
actually, we didn't take one picture.

Maybe miiri will remember the name of the company though. These guys
were the sponsors of the convention though.

Andrew P Ziola

got any pics of these people?

Shin

no, it means party as in, tons of drinking, drugs and that's about it.
But they were saying that the night before at one of the villas at our
hotel, there were girls that were having sex w/ each other right on the sofa.
But I think they just wanted to hang out and take us to the parties and go
club hopping etc.

Andrew P Ziola

does party mean what i think it means (in the porn world)?

Shin

no, we did not do anything at all. In fact, we insisted on paying for
our own dinner and didn't end up leaving with them b/c we didn't want to
party with them.

Andrew P Ziola

you 'do anything' for them?

Shin

yeah, we actually went out to dinner one night with some of them. It
was really weird, they rented a stretch SUV and rode around town in it.

Andrew P Ziola

you talk to any of them?

Shin

Hey,

I forgot to tell you, at my hotel in Arizona, they had a internet porn
convention there. It was the business aspect of it (no porn stars).
The guys that build the site, pick the content and host them etc. Not the
people that actually film the porn itself.

Love, Z E-mail me if you have anything you want to post on this page