Z-Bonia

Updated: 5/21/02 Click here for Zbonia archive

Words

I am getting really tired of people being all offended by stuff. Like you can't say anything negative about anything to people without them getting pissed like - you asshole screw you and your negative comments about bricklayers, my great uncle was a bricklayer. I mean come on we are Americans we are all the same stop complaining. We are all one. We are all in this together. You generalize all the time about Polish people like myself. I don't care. I don't. You make fun of bald people all the time. My dad is bald. I don't care. He might but I don't. So speak up. This is America. Free speech bitch. An old friend of mine was emailing me about a coworker of theres that is dating another coworker. That is cool. OK you DUMB MOTHERFUCKER. Please stop bragging about the lies you put on your resume to get the job here. Rot in hell you cocksucker motherfucker.

 

Email Attachment of the Week

Joke of the Week

Two neighbors had been fighting each other for
nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and
teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.

So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the
bathroom in Bill's yard. After about a year and a
half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being
ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front
of Bill's house.

Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the
18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

"Mark Moroni"

nice!

"we have an exciting trip on the wheel available. this trip takes you
czekoslovakia to see one teet, and another teet"

From:

ALRIGHT! New game. Wheel of porn.

"pat, I'd like to see down"

"Mark Moroni"

awesome.

and instead of wheel of fortune, it could be wheel of porn.

"pat, i'd like to buy a bowel"

From:

and then they could flash the boobs to illustrate what the phrase is.

"Mark Moroni"

that would be great if it was a "phrase" on wheel of fortune.

"pat, i'd like to solve the puzzle"

From:

I love that term. Miiri uses it.

Amy Dowsek

would be pretty tits?

what?
From: Mark Moroni

i think eating ribs off a naked broad would be pretty tits....

From: "Amy Dowsek"

ya, yeasty bread too.. that could be pretty nasty as well

i guess i would recommend keeping the subway away from the labia and
surrounding areas

From:

and actually, cheese would be pretty gross too.

Amy Dowsek

yep, good catch

what about the banana peppers? those could be a problem as well...

From:

wasn't there a vd that you learned about in health class that looked
like cauliflower?

Amy Dowsek

the giardinera would be real messy too.. probably don't want to be
mixing any cauliflower down there

From:

it probably depends on what you get on it. Like the jalapeños would be real painful...

Amy Dowsek

bad idea

From:

why don't you try it and give us a full report.

Amy Dowsek

i wonder how the subway would digest if eaten that way

From: Mark Moroni

at least i didn't ask if you meant labia.

From:

my mouth, geez...

"Mark Moroni"
lips?

From:

I just ate something on my subway sandwich that I must be allergic to
and my lips are starting to itch and swell up. Uh oh...

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