Z-Bonia

Updated: 4/6/04 Click here for Zbonia archive

Words

No joke, I was just in Starbucks and the girl that was getting my coffee said this out loud, "we're out of coffee." I dont like april fools day because I never know if the fools are real or not. People are pretty messed up. Some people don't like people and some people like people. I am pretty good with people. Don't censor this. Please stop. Don't censor this. Bad people like thieves are gonna go to hell. I hope they know that. I have seen movie where they show hell. It does not look too nice. It looks painful.

Email Attachment of the Week


Joke of the Week

15 things we wouldn’t know if it wasn’t for the movies

1. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
2. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home,
3. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
4. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
5. If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange noises in their most diaphaous underwear, which is just what they happened to be carrying with them at the time the car broke down.
6. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
7. If someone says, "I'll be right back", they won't.
8. Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but always say:
Enter Password Now.
9. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. And none of your friends have to knock when they come for a visit.
10. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
11. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
12. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
13. If you decide to start dancing in the street everyone around you will automatically be able to mirror all the steps you come up with and hear the music in your head.
14. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

And last but not least

15. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

From: AZiola@focal.com

ya trust me

dont do what i did

it is more fun with a weiner on than off ....

"RoMaN"

he put a tight rubber band around it for about 3 weeks and it
shriveled up and fell off.

From: AZiola@focal.com

cant wait to show you

my weiner fell off

Neil Bojarski

can't wait. what's the phrase...business up front, party in back.

AZiola@focal.com wrote:

neil - wait till you see romans mullet

"RoMaN"

that's so punk.

From: Neil Bojarski

Hey! I'm just listening to some Dillinger Four and scanning the
job boards right now. I'll meet you guys up at Redmonds. Thanks for
asking...I was just going to drink some whiskey alone in the dark
in my empty apartment, so Redmonds will work for me!

AZiola@focal.com wrote:

what up bojar?

"VanHorn, Nathan"

bojar - fyi

From: RoMaN

if he's interested z & i are meeting at redmond's at 6PM for a quick bite.

From: VanHorn, Nathan

alone

From: RoMaN

is neil going to show alone? who he going with?

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