Z-Bonia

Updated: 4/13/04 Click here for Zbonia archive

Words

Don't mess with Texas. People in Texas think really Texassy. It is a little odd. I have a sore throat. I have not been sick yet this year, could this be it? My back hurts a little. It sucks being 28 years old the body turns to crap. My pits have been very sweaty over the past 3 days.

Email Attachment of the Week


Joke of the Week

This is a True phone call from the Word Perfect Help line which was transcribed from a Recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the HelpDesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." This is actual Dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. Now I know why they record these conversations!

"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank, it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

"Angela Mills" <psycmillie@yahoo.com

uh huh, could be very interesting

"z@homemail.com"

sounds pretty average joe-ish

i am gonna win cause i am very good at this

--- "Monahan, Kimberly" wrote:

Last night as I watched TV there was a preview for the bachelor and
they reveled that one of the 25 women is a spy for the bachelor! And
she'll meet with him every episode to tell him everything that is going on with
the other women! So I wonder if there will be a elimination tonight or
not?

From: Monahan, Kimberly

I am very excited to see this all play out with the Pro Football
Player! This morning on 101.9 they were talking more about Bill and Jen, and
&g t; Eric called Jen and asked how her love life was going, and she simply said
it was looking up. After Tomorrow the quest to beat Z begins!

From: Angela Mills [mailto:psycmillie@yahoo.com]

only 1 more sleep to go 'til the new season of the bachelor! i'm excited!

Love, Z E-mail me if you have anything you want to post on this page