Z-Bonia

Updated: 3/26/02 Click here for Zbonia archive

Words

I found the culprit A coworker of mine throws used piece of paper towel near the door to exit the bathroom. Why? I saw him the other day grab the exit handle of the door and then toss this refuse on the ground. I figure this dude is scared of germs on the door - maybe from people that don't wash their hands after peeing and pooing. So case solved there. It is that time of year in Chicago tht we all hate. This time of year when it is like still cold and we all just want it to get warm. It fucking snowed today and that sucks. That sucks. Our Mullet banquet is done and softball starts in a week or so and the Cubs start like in a week also. These things do not suck, they rule. I have a beard.

 

Email Attachment of the Week

Joke of the Week

rules for women

These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.

Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the ides. Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Check your oil! . Please.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done * not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

"Mark Moroni"

maybe you can make a t-shirt with his face on it that says 'fart on my
face'

From: AZiola@focal.com

ya and i don't wanna look funny in front of the guy who pays me

and today he read my words TO me

and he said 'poo' and 'butt'

"Mark Moroni"

i'm not trying to be insulting - all i'm saying is that i've assed you in the past why you don't wanna grow hair/beard and you say that people will look at ya funny, so you don't.

AZiola@focal.com

keep em coming douche water

hold on

i am to run

the herd is leaving

and i have to follow it

"Mark Moroni"

z's growing up and giving in to corporate america everyday...

cutting hair.
changing websites.

the world is coming to an end.

From: AZiola@focal.com

when the exec VP is looking at it and talking me about it

it is time i think for change

"Mark Moroni"

i think its horrible if you switch andrewziola.com to be a 'business' site.

From: AZiola@focal.com

i think i might need a new domain name that is for andrewziola.com and
use andrewziola.com as a 'business' site

you guys like any of these for my fun site? they are all available

drunkasapunk.com

iamzdog.com

iamzdawg.com

wetpits.com

zspits.com

zsarmpit.com

myarmpit.com

myhanky.com

zswww.com

Love, Z E-mail me if you have anything you want to post on this page