Z-Bonia

Updated: 2/4/03 Click here for Zbonia archive

Words

I can't tell you what bothers me more. Websites that have never been updated or websites that are never updated. Hello, please stop rearrganging my stuff. It is my stuff and I have it arranged like I like it so don't arrange it. I am me and you are you and they are them. Hello. I am not a fucking search engine. This shirt makes me look fat. I can do your job. It really bothers me when people say the word intranet and they totally have to put this huge empasis on the 'a' in intranet. People that complain about others being racist should really not say and do racist things themselves, makes them look very ignorant. I would be a much happier person if I knew exactly what the cause of everything I smell is. Nice people win. I invite people to way more things than I get invited. Does this make me a loser or unpopular? You are wondering why people treat you like such a bitch? It is cause you are a bitch. Can you assholes please start being the solution and stop throwing fuel on the problem.

I got this email forward:

Where do you live?

You Live in California when...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it
will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You Live in New York City when...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State
Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus
Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is "nature,"
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language
makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You Live in Maine when...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
construction.

You Live in the Deep South when...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"
4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean,
etc.

You live in Colorado when...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at

the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You live in the Midwest when...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was
different!"

You live in Florida when...
1. You eat dinner at 4:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

Email Attachment of the Week


Joke of the Week

Q. Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men?

A. No phone numbers.

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

"Matt Batt"

compare.....sword fight?

len ziola

From: AZiola@focal.com

maybe i would feel a lot better if i could just go show him my wang

"Matt Batt"

you're like family now...z dedo...

From: AZiola@focal.com

these are the people i figure have seen it

-his mom when he was born
-his wife
-me

"Matt Batt"

sorry dude....if i knew...i wouldn't have opened the bad memory.

you think other people have seen it too?

From: AZiola@focal.com

it hurt me then and again ... it hurts me now to think about it again

"Matt Batt"

did it hurt you?....to see it?

From: AZiola@focal.com

ya i saw the wang

"Matt Batt"

you saw len's wang?!

i thought you just saw his wrinkled ass?!!? damn!

From: AZiola@focal.com

i am a little upset you brought up the fact that i saw his wang

i thought i had that memory repressed

"Matt Batt"

sneaky little man....remember when he used to secretly smoke too.

i bet he's somewhere smoking in a bathroom....secretly.

From: AZiola@focal.com

good memories

"Matt Batt"

....remember when you walked in on him in the bathroom??!

From: AZiola@focal.com

wonder what len dedo is doin now?

Love, Z E-mail me if you have anything you want to post on this page