Z-Bonia

Updated: 2/26/02 Click here for Zbonia archive

Words

This I am going to Colorado for my first time this week. I think it might be neato. I am not definite. I will tell you when I get back. I am gonna say it again - please don't rob my house. I am saying this for your safety because I have a new mean dog that kills people and my crazy cousin Teddy is staying at my place with his gun when I am gone. Life is a trip. Nuts. Every week something kinda kooky happens to me or people I know. If it wasn't like this everything would be boring. I am moving to a fun new cube at work. Bowling playoffs start tomorrow but I am more excited about softball. We are returning to the same league as last year so hopefully we will do a lot more winning. I was just in the elevator with two girls carrying a heavy box. I think I would have helped them if they were hot. And yet another instance from the -ism (note above).

 

Email Attachment of the Week

Joke of the Week

A lMEN'S NAMES
Aaron - ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff.
Adam - cute, funny, chicks dig him, well hung but very caring.
Adrian - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.
Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.
Alex - cute and short but a liar and a cheat.
Amir - dirty, smelly, pecker is minuscule.
Anastasi - is a compulsive sick liar, incestuous and hung like a tortoise.
Andrew - gay and has a small pecker.
Antonio - has a great body and beautiful skin, and chicken brain.
Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls, smells of wee.
Arnold - loser.
Arthur - hung like a slave and celibate.
Barry - lights fires, pinches girls bottoms and is well hung.
Ben - funny and can be real difficult to beat at games.
Bob - quiet and unpopular, eats with his hands.
Brad - thinks everyone likes him...but they don't.
Brandon - good looking but uses girls.
Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.
Brett - world wide slut and really insensitive, women love him.
Brian - mean and only thinks of himself, no he's not the Messiah he's just a very naughty boy.
Bryan - sexy, but stupid - can't spell.
Bronsen - annoying and never grows up - has a stupid name.
Bruce - stinks bad and thinks everyone else's name is also Bruce.
Bryce - fun to be with and will make you laugh, you'll kill him within a week.
Calvin - immature in a naive way, drives a Gemini.
Cameron - Australian.
Carl - thinks he's funny...he's not, falls asleep during sex.
Carson - fun to be around and really sensitive.
Chad - cute, sensitive and very studly - only found in American movies, no real person has that name.
Charles - can't trust him, eyes too close together.
Chris - cool ,great guy, huge nob.
Christian - very sexy and seductive.
Clark - hilarious and always in trouble, problem with 'jailbait'.
Cliff - very sweet and adores girls, but very superficial.
Cole - nice, funny, and fun to be around.
Colin - lies to women and blows up public
buildings.
Cory - funny but ugly, ends up running fashion
magazines.
Craig - tries to fit in - he never does.
Damon - total loser in a sweaty sort of way.
Dan - quiet but funny, but becomes easily
addicted to
narcotics.
Dane - weird but can hold together a
conversation with a
mermaid.
Daniel - enjoys root vegetables in every
orifice.
Darren - charming , but sleeps with men.
Daryl - smells bad, has no real mates
David - hotty and works out a lot, loves girls named Florence.
Dave - extremely sexy, always funny, intelligent, stylish, trendsetter i.e. a wanker.
Dean - full of himself and thinks with his dick.
Dennis - either very nice to girls or a faggot.
Derek - has a great sense of humour, and blow-up doll
collection.
Dominic - hilarious and will do anything to please.
Don - dickhead.
Doug - has a greasy face, drinking problem and farts.
Drew - bad-arse loser who never shuts up.
Duncan - hopeless ski bum, brains shot away long ago.
Dylan - horny. bastard, who can't sing.
Dwayne - cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.
Eddie - wants too many chicks he'll never get cos he's an arsehole.
Elliott - full of himself.
Eric - shy.
Evan - a little slow but sweet, sexy, and model
mental patient.
Frank - "different" - missing DNA - favours girls named Lucy.
Fraser - sucks pigs dicks & swallows the lot.
Gareth - sweet but dresses too good to be straight.
Gary - drug addict but willing to share.
Gavin - likes bondage, S&M with other men.
Geoff - prefers golf to sex and war to peace.
George - barman who drinks more than he serves.
Glen - the sweetest guy - really down to earth.
Greame - very hard to understand, likes group sex.
Graham - will screw anything.
Grant - HORNY! but so sweet and you can talk to him about anything.
Greg - really sweet and feels sorry for himself.
Harry - covers his back.
Harvey - cute, but addicted to sex and/or drugs.
Hathem - smooth, but very manipulative, not to be trusted around young girls.
Haydn - tries hard.
Howard - likes small-breasted women and pornography.
Ian - really popular but knows all the girls
want him...yeh right!!!
Ivor - militant psychopath with homosexual tendencies.
Jake - shy and sweet but a slut when drunk.
Jamie - scum of the earth.
James - built like a horse.
Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well.
Jeff - really ugly.
Jerome - gay, but very unhappy.
Jeremy - loud and thinks that he's all that he says he is.
Jesse - unpopular and needs to move on.
Jack - stupid but hot, always alright.
Jim - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection.
Joe - built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head.
Joel - arse.
John - has no friends or life - tends to kill small animals.
Jolyon - absolute raving homosexual.
Jonathon - think he's good - he's shit.
Jordan - sexy but weird in bed.
Jose - hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites.
Josh - full of himself, fun.
Junior - hotty and totally good at netball.
Justin - aggravating but lovable, insecure but
successful.
Kain - the sexiest guy alive but very stuck up.
Kevin - always attracts really fit girlfriends also has a large penis,
really nice to women.
Keith - good person to talk to when you have a problem - his is worse.
Kenneth - very, very...anything you want him to be.
Kurt - can kick anyone's arse.
Kyle - hornball who eats too many cornchips.
Larry - cute but wannabe player with big arse.
Laurey - short and funny looking.
Lee - girl dressed up as a boy, total arse bandit.
Lewis - lonely, sad git, bit of a tosser.
Lyndon - can always be found in bed or in the pub.
Liam - loud mouthed arsehole.
Lorenzo - fine and dresses in stolen gold.
Lucas - fat loser that dates other men.
Luke - seems to be sweet.
Malcolm - tall man who tends to lose his trousers.
Mark - wished girls liked him for who he is not his great looks, mouthy bastard though.
Matt - the fat boy of the class, likes sweets and is full of shit.
Michael - very good looking but he'll do anything for a sheep.
Mick - always drunk, tendency for drug abuse.
Mohammed - small penis
Nathan - stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel dumb.
Nick - nice - can't get past the missionary position though.
Neil - sweet and will do anything in this world for you, great in bed.
Oliver - likes men but is in denial.
Oscar - loser.
Owen - cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.
Patrick - drunk, drunk, drunk.
Paul - cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in gays.
Peter - cutie but very shy, makes women feel like virgins.
Phillip - stupid idiot who wishes he were cool.
Rhys - great lover but had his mind stolen by aliens a long, long time ago.
Richard - can't see his feet as balls are too big
Ricky - ugly shithead who everybody hates.
Rikki - see above.
Rob - constantly watches porn.
Roy - total loser and computer genius.
Rupert - arrogant twat who is crap in bed but thinks he is a stud.
Russell - likes to play in the leaves which makes him an arsehole.
Ryan - short but sexy body and even sexier mind.
Sam - wannabe sex machine.
Scott - has serious disabilities.
Sean - has small testicles and no friends.
Seth - so sweet to other people but is a traitor.
Shane - thinks everybody wants to shag him - he's a virgin.
Shannon - the most determined and persevering sweetie in the world.
Shaun - bit of a hard bastard, thinks women love him.
Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Talks bollocks.
Spencer - loves it right up there, normally with a toilet roll and a hamster
Steve - popular and funny when looked at side-on.
Stuart - droll guy with great arse and suicidal tendencies but great in bed.
Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.
Toby - best blow ever.
Tom - cool but can be arrogant.
Tony - hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around.
Travis - fat and horny with the best XXX collection to be found.
Trevor - sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy.
Troy - cute and popular.
Taylor - gay.
Warren - cool, homosexual guy.
Wesley - great guy and easy to tolerate.
Will - wishes he were popular.
Zach - sweet and polite and adorable.
Zahid - devious and sly. Not to be trusted.

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

Andrew P Ziola

ya phlegm with blood is not my strong suit

yeagerhj@WellsFargo.COM

yay!
i grossed out Z dawg!
i can't believe it!

today, i can do ANYTHING!

From: AZiola@focal.com

ok i can't hear anymore

poo and pee don't bother me

this one does for some reason

yeagerhj@WellsFargo.COM

i wish nougat.
then i could have had a morning snack.

just blood.
it was really gross.

From: AZiola@focal.com

what were the veins filled with? blood? or noogat?

yeagerhj@Well sFargo.COM

in the shower this morning,
i coughed.
and out of my mouth shot a golf ball sized wad of phelgm.
it landed on the wall and slid down.
not being content to let it go down the drain,
i picked it up and looked at it.
and it had veins in it.
and it was really gross.

okay, now i grossed mySELF out.

From: AZiola@focal.com

tell me more about this gross stuff

yeagerhj@WellsFargo.COM

good thinks.

i just wanted to share with you that i have some gross things coming out of my nose and lungs.
(this is because i have a way with the ladies as well)

From: AZiola@focal.com

yeager family reunion.

i think cheese curds and horse-shoe contests

yeagerhj@WellsFargo.COM

the fun slice logos are fun
i guess i can send them to you today...
i am having fun working on them tho still...

yeager family reunion.
hmmmm.
what do you think of when you read that?

From: AZiola@focal.com

i think you are right

i think the funslice logo is going to be fucking awesome too

yeagerhj@WellsFargo.COM

don't sweat it.
july is really far away.

miss cleo told me you won't become more annoying.
and she's on tv so i believe her.

i think i get to make the invites and t-shirts and stuff.
and i think they're going to fucking awesome.

From: AZiola@focal.com

i would love to go

i just don't wanna commit to anything yet

again, i would be honored and i would totally LOVE to go so count me in

unless you hate me cause i become more annoying

yeagerhj@WellsFargo.COM

i think the marquette reunion is that weekend too.

but maybe you'd wanna come with me up north to ishpeming?
if you don't that's okay.
i'm just going for saturday.
but i think you'd have fun.

it's in nature.
and we can go boozin with the locals.

there's lots of time for you to change your mind.

From: Charlie Yeager [mailto:cyeager@maresa.k12.mi.us]

Greetings,

The Yeager Family Reunion will be in Ishpeming the weekend of July 27th. I will send more information soon, but I thought that you might like to mark your calendars. Please forward this to all those I don't have e-mail addresses for - Thanks!

Check out our new house:

http://yeager.nice.k12.mi.us/house_construction/index.htm

Love,

Charlie Yeager

Love, Z E-mail me if you have anything you want to post on this page