Z-Bonia

Updated: 12/9/03 Click here for Zbonia archive

Words

People have different looks on their faces when they are alone, like waiting for the train, than they do when they are with people. When people are alone a great percentage of them look sad or even pissed. Every good boy deserves fudge. When the pubes are longer than Junior, time for a trim. I do quite a bit of arts and crafts. I am pretty good at them.

I think it would be pretty cool to write a Christmas Carol song so I did, here it is:

It's a winter wonderland
It's a time for holiday cheer
Get the whole family together
It's that time of year

It's cold cold cold outside
Ddon't forget your warm hat and mittens
The holiday bug is here
And i have been bitten

It's that time of year
It's that time of year
It's that time of year

Hang the stockings by the fire
And put the ornaments on the tree
Gather round and sing this song
Our hearts are filled with glee

The Christmas lights are up
The snow outside is falling
The cookies are in the oven
Christmas is in full swing

It's that time of year
It's that time of year
It's that time of year

---------------

Ancient Egyptians shaved off their eyebrows to mourn the deaths of their cats.

The billionth digit of pi is 9.

More money is printed daily for the Monopoly game than by the U.S. Treasury.

Eggplant is a member of the thistle family.

Kermit the Frog is left handed.

The only country whose name begins with an A but doesn't end in an A is Afghanastan.

The quartz crystal in your wristwatch vibrates 32768 times a second.

St. Stephen is the patron saint of bricklayers.

The placement of a donkey's eyes in its' head enables it to see all four feet at all times

Assuming Rudolph was in front there are 40320 ways to arrange the other eight reindeer.

The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.

Elephants are the only animal that can't jump.

Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.

Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.

In 1977 there were 37 Elvis impersonators in the world. In 1993 there were 48000. At this rate by the year 2010 one out of every three people will be an Elvis impersonator.

The hundred billionth crayon made by Crayola was Perriwinkle Blue.

Woodpecker scalps porpoise teeth and giraffe tails have all been used as money.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.

Pickled herrings were invented in 1375.

The distance between an alligator's eyes in inches is directly proportional to the length of the alligator in feet.

Toki doki kuruma de kayotte imasu means Sometimes I commute by car. in Japanese.

The lifespan of a tastebud is ten days.

It takes forty minutes to hard boil an ostrich egg.

Shirley Temple always had 56 curls in her hair.

The pupil of an octopus' eye is rectangular.

Camels milk does not curdle.

Murphy's Oil Soap is the chemical most commonly used to clean elephants.

All porcupines float in water.

In Casablanca Humphrey Bogart never said Play it again Sam. Sherlock Holmes never said Elementary my dear Watson and Captain Kirk never said Beam me up Scotty but he did say Beam me up Mr. Scott.

Average speed of Heinz ketchup from the mouth of an opened bottle: 25 miles per year.

Belief in the existence of vacuums used to be punishable by death under church law.

Carnivorous animals will not eat another animal that has been hit by a lightning strike

The Sanskrit word for war translates as 'wanting more cows'

There is a 1 in 685000 chance that you will accidentally drown in your own bath.

Mickey Mouse was banned in Romania in 1935 because it was felt that he was too scary for children.

Bamboo can grow three feet in twenty-four hours.

Mosquitos have forty-seven teeth.

If the bottom two rows of keys on your keyboard suddenly failed the longest word you could still be able to type out is 'typewriter'.

There are 2500000 rivets in the Eiffel Tower

Queen Victoria was the first European monarch to use a telephone.

A pound of termites has more nutrients than a pound of beef or pork

When Coca-Cola began to be sold in China they used characters that would sound like 'Coca-Cola' when spoken. Unfortunately what they turned out to mean was 'Bite the wax tadpole'. It did not sell well.

The male scorpion fly gets other males to bring him food by imitating a female fly.

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself.

Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy.

If you started counting and said one number every second it would take you 33 years to get to 1 billion.

20 newborn opossums can fit into a tablespoon.

A shark can grow a new set of teeth in a week.

Brazil got it's name from the nut not the other way around.

The Milky Way galaxy contains 5 billion stars larger than our sun.

'Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu' is the name of a hill in New Zealand.

The number of UFO sightings constantly increase when Mars is nearest the Earth.

Crocodiles swallow stones to help them dive deeper.

Goldfish can suffer motion sickness.

Giraffes are unable to cough.

During it's lifetime an oyster changes its sex from male to female and back several times.

Squids can commit suicide by eating their own tentacles.

Shark's teeth are literally as hard as steel.

Turkey's often look up at the sky during a rainstorm. Unfortunately some have been known to drown as a result.

The aquatic animal the Red Sponge can be broken into a thousand pieces and still reconstitute itself.

In Ancient Peru when a woman found an 'ugly' potato it was the custom for her to push it into the face of the nearest man.

The magic word 'Abracadabra' was originally intended for the specific purpose of curing hay fever.

Alexander Graham Bell the inventor of the telephone never phoned his wife or his mother they were both deaf.

The mad Emperor Caligula once decided to go to war with the Roman God of the sea Poseidon and ordered his soldiers to throw their spears into the water at random.

William Shakespeare's father's first name was John.

A hydrodaktulopsychicharmonica is a variety of musical glasses.

There are more nutrients in the cornflake packet itself than there are in the actual cornflake.

A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs because a cows' knees can't bend properly to walk back down.

A fullgrown bear can run as fast as a horse.

A polar bears' fur is not white it's clear.

Walt Disney had wooden teeth.

Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.

Slinkys were invented by an airplane mechanic; he was playing with engine parts and realized the possible secondary use of one of the springs.

The Roman Emperor Nero used to eat Leeks to try to improve his singing voice

After his first concert appearance Elvis presley was advised to consider becoming a lorry driver

Children grow faster in springtime than they do the rest of the year

A yak has the skeleton of a bison the hair of a goat the tail of a horse the head of a cow and grunts like a pig

The measurement of a yard was instituted by Henry I who decided it should be the distance from the end of his nose to his thumb

It has been traditional to serve fish with a slice of lemon since the Middle Ages when people believed that the fruits juice would dissolve any bones accidentally swallowed

Horses do not have collar bones

For more than 2000 years a cow's moo was used as a unit of distance in India

An elephants trunk can hold 6.6 litres of water

The onion is named after a Latin word meaning a large pearl

The sea-urchin walks on the tips of its teeth

Email Attachment of the Week


Joke of the Week

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."

Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Kenny said, "OK then, just unload the donkey."

The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"

"I'm going to raffle him off."

"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

"Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"

Kenny said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00."

"Didn't anyone complain?"

"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

sandradee228@comcast.net

so your sayin' there a chance....:)

i will let you know if he breaks off the engagement for 2nd time and moves to chicago

sandradee228@comcast.net

Well, I can't really say anything about two engagements
considering...but I don't want to go to GB, so, thanks anyways....

aziola@focal.com

engaged for the 2nd time and lives in green bay

still interested?

sandradee228@comcast.net is he avail?...he's cute! aziola@focal.com

old college roommate paul

sandradee228@comcast.net

whose the guy in the bottome right hand corner?

aziola@focal.com

http://www.drodd.com/html/mustache.html

sandradee228@comcast.net@comcast.net

I love these pics...I saw them before. Looks like everyone needed a little spf.

http://www.drodd.com/html/4thofjuly.html

Love, Z E-mail me if you have anything you want to post on this page