Z-Bonia

Updated: 12/21/04 Click here for Zbonia archive

Words

My pits smell bad today. I just started using deodorant again after my pit rash. I follow every baseball move. I am wondering when the Cubs are going to make some moves. My cat sleeps all day. I very much hate the cold. Who likes the cold? They are nuts. My favorite steak place is Gibsons in Chicago. It is Christmas this week. Christmas is not as exciting as it was when you were a kid. Merry Chistmas.

Email Attachment of the Week


Joke of the Week

If Santa answered his mail honestly......

Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.

Love, Teddy.


Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane.

Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom,
who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me
get you some nice Legos instead. Santa

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Dear Sana,

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy


Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about

I send you a @#$% book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving

your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell Santa

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Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy in the world foreverybody!

Love,

Sarah


Dear Sarah,

You're parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa


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Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a

drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis

Dear Francis,

Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. Santa



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Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots

for

your

reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan


< BR Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when

riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of

scotch. Santa

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Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making

toys? Your friend, Thomas


Dear Thomas,

All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I

spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself
silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at
the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa


------------------------------ ------------------------------

Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica



Dear Jessica,

Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm

skipping your house. Santa

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Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE

PLEASE

could I have one?

Timmy


Timmy,

That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa

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Dearest S anta,

We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?

Love, Marky


Mark,

First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. The Third, I get inside your pad just
like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams,

Santa

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

"z@homemail.com"

she is cool

she does art without a shirt - like me

--- Michael Regan <mdregan@msn.com wrote:

This year we had three different Thanksgivings which was fine as
that is an AWESOME holiday. And Kelsey has new thing of being naked. SHe
will strip down and rip off her diaper and run naked. It is funny. I wish
all people couls be that free.

From: "z@homemail.com"

all set on the pics - they look great

couple of things

you celebrate thanksgiving a lot kelsey and i have something in common- the hatred of wearing shirts

--- Michael Regan <mdregan@msn.com wrote:

happy sunday - go bears! when you get a chance, can you upload
some new pics to our website?

also, for some odd reason there's a directory called "trip to
arizona" that doesn't have any pics. and you've already
uploaded these pics some time ago. is there anyway you can delete it?

thanks for your help with the new pics and enjoy your sunday.
tell everyone we say hello.

regan

Love, Z E-mail me if you have anything you want to post on this page