Z-Bonia

Updated: 12/11/01 Click here for Zbonia archive

Words

I just saw a hot lady walking down the street and she walked like a duck. Hey lady - OK you are hot but why you walking like a duck? Now you are hot but you look like an idiot. I don't understand salespeople. Are they like acting or do they always talk like that. Man spank talking is trippy. He sales guy, you ever talk normal or is every hello or bla bla out of your mouth like a sales pitch? I guess I took off my shirt at this party last week but I don't remember. This is cool though. God bless the person that leaves the Sports page in the shitter at work. Please please please don't call me. Please email me. This is messed. I just heard that the Sept 11th attack area in NYC is still burning and will probably continue burning for like a year. Wow. You know what is really wack? Getting in trouble after doing a good deed or helping someone out. This just happened to me at work today. This is crazy. It is like giving someone CPR and saving your life and then they turn around and sue you because you gave them the flu or some shit. We really live in a society where you are better off by keep walking instead of helping people. I would name andrewziola.com's conference rooms after organs in the female reproductive system if andrewziola.com had their own offices.

 

Email Attachment of the Week

Joke of the Week

Dear Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.

yer Frend, Fredyy

Dear Freddy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a careerin lawn care. How about I send you a f@&$king book so you can learn toread and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!

Santa

Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the onlything I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!

Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,Your parents smoked pot when they had you,didn't they?

Santa

Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but forChristmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together.Please see what you can do?

LoveTeddy

Dear Teddy

,Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like ascreen door in a hurricane.Do you think he's gonna give that up to comeback to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It'stime to give up that dream.Let me get you some nice Legos instead.

Santa

Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train,some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drumkit, a pony and a tuba.

Love, Francis

Dear Francis,Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I betyou're gay, I'll set you up with a BarbieSanta

Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under thetree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.Love, Susan

Dear Susan,Milk gives me the runs and carrots make thedeer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me afavor? Leave me a bottle of scotch.Santa

Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year?Are you busy making toys?

Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condoin Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films.I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktailwaitresses while losing money at the craps table.Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa

Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do youreally know when we'reawake,like in the song?

Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? What a 'Tard.Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.

Santa

Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year.Please, please, please,PLEASE,PLEASE could I have one?

Timmy

Dear Timmy, That whiney begging crap may work with yourfolks, but that crap doesn't work with me.You're getting a sweater again this year, TARD!.

Santa

Dearest Santa,We don't have a chimney in our house, how doyou get into our home?

Love, Marky

Dear Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your asswhipped at school. Second, you don't live in ahouse, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I getinside your pad just like theboogeyman does, through your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams,

Santa


Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

" Shin"

Thank you! Now I see.

(shin was asking for someone to forward her the email cause she was in surgery getting some wack somethin somethin zapped off her neck)

From: Amy Dowsek

no, done and complete can mean totally different things

complete can also mean to fufil

and done to pretty final like "finshed"

maybe i will use that- "finished"

shin is "done" , z is "finished"

From: Mark Moroni

deal.

or you could maybe use a synonym for done?

like "complete"

From: "Amy Dowsek"

ok shin is "done"

and when i say z i will just assume that he is "done" but i won't say it.

From: Mark Moroni

if we eliminate your suggestion of calling z done, we can just call shin done.

From: "Amy Dowsek"

shin = z

z= done

shin = done

i see your point, i am glad i took that logic course in college...

do you have other suggestions?

From: Mark Moroni

but then shin, who is now z, would be saying i am "done" when z is now being called done, so we'd be back in the same situation where shin is z again.

From: "Amy Dowsek"

how about just "done"?

From: Mark Moroni

then what would we call z?

From: "Amy Dowsek"

i'd have to start calling her z if she did

From: Mark Moroni

i wish shin would mail us and say

i am "done"

From: AZiola@focal.com

i want to get lazer zapped

Amy Dowsek

she wasn't getting cut open just laser zapped

she should be done by now

From: AZiola@focal.com

wonder if shin has been cut open yet

Love, Z E-mail me if you have anything you want to post on this page