Z-Bonia

Updated: 1/21/03 Click here for Zbonia archive

Words

Can you please eat your lunch in the kitchen like everyone else or are you that anti-social. Your lunch stinks. Ii heard my mom say fuck for first time last nite. She was telling story and someone in the story said fuck so she said it. It sounded cool coming out of her. AOL sucks. It has been a bitch trying to break in this pair of shoes. I just heard a coworker say, "This is a communications company and no one communicates." Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I don't. I like it here. I enjoyed doing your website but I don't want to be in you club. Talking to that guy is like talking to bricks. Today is Roman's bday.

Email I got:

CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE BEER DRINKER

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver. " by Jack Handy

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " Frank Sinatra

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. " Ernest Hemingway

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. " Henny Youngman

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. " Stephen Wright

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! " Brian O'Rourke

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. " Dave Barry

BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!! "Unknown"

Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

And saving the best for last, As explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers... One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. "In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Email Attachment of the Week


Joke of the Week

A young lady came home and told her Mother that her boyfriend
had proposed but she had turned him down because she found
out he was an atheist, and didn't believe in Heaven or Hell.
"Marry him anyway, dear." the Mother said. "Between the two
of us, we'll show him just how *wrong* he is."

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

From: AZiola@focal.com

if someone only read that last email - they would think that sounds a
little weird

John Schalk

If you get here before noon you are going to the sex shop with me!

Andrew P Ziola

if they get here at a decent time i am coming in

but if they dont get here to like 2 i figure i just gonna stay here

John Schalk

you are coming into the office? if you are in route or think you can
make it would you go porn card shopping with me?

Andrew P Ziola

not sure if i will be at work in time

i am at home got cable guy coming some time between 10 and 2

John Schalk

You want to go to the Potbelly over the river for lunch? I've got to
run to the sex shop to get a deck of porn cards for bowling tonight and
I know that you might be willing to go with me in broad daylight...

Love, Z E-mail me if you have anything you want to post on this page