Z-Bonia

Updated: 1/08/02 Click here for Zbonia archive

Words

If you want me to return your phone call, please leave your name and number on my voice mail. And say your phone number very slowly and clearly. In my life I have always had a hard time remembering when people tell me to keep something secret or not. If you want me to keep something secret why are you telling me in the first place? A personal goal I have is to memorize and use all the keystrokes on the PC - like 'Ctrl Shift Y' and junk like that. Looking back on 2001 - it was the year of the defining moment for me. I see getting stuck in the elevator like 7 months ago as one of the most important times of 2001 for me. Pot. Kettle. Black. I am happy in my heart and in my head. My liver is suspended in liquid but it is not lonely. You people are obviously talking about a coworker behind their back when you talk all quiet so fuck you fuckers. I wonder how much urine is collected by the urinals and toilets of major sporting venues? I feel like a kid on xmas. This week is very exciting and pivotal for me. Fun Slice and bowling start. I just held a baby for the first time. My bosses. It was different than I thought.

 

Email Attachment of the Week

Joke of the Week

Two boys are playing hockey on a frozen pond in a Chicago, Illinois park when one of the boys is suddenly attacked by a crazed Rottweiller. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his hockey stick, shoves it under the dog's collar, twists it, and breaks the dog's neck, saving hisfriend. A reporter is strolling by, sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Bears Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook."But I'm not a Bears fan," the little hero replies. "Sorry, since we're in Chicago, I just assumed you were," says the reporter and he starts writing again. "Bulls Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he writes in his notebook."I'm not a Bulls fan either," the boy says. "Oh, I assumed everyone in Chicago was either for the Bears or the Bulls. What team do you root for?" the reporter asks. "I'm a Packers fan," the boy replies. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes: "Little Bastard From Wisconsin Kills Beloved Family Pet".

Email Train of the Week - usually have to read these bottom to top

ANDERSONA2@bcbsil.com

stop please

<AZiola@focal.com>

what do you like to do more

use that toilet for pee and poo or vomit?

<ANDERSONA2@bcbsil.com>no

<AZiola@focal.com>

have you ever mistakenly squatted and then vomited all over?

<ANDERSONA2@bcbsil.com>

nope

<AZiola@focal.com>

have you ever mistakenly squatted and peed on the floor?

<ANDERSONA2@bcbsil.com>

yes but i dont sit on the toilet
i squat

<AZiola@focal.com>

does the bathroom at least have those sanitary seats?

<ANDERSONA2@bcbsil.com>

then i use it and plug my nose

<AZiola@focal.com>

what if it is an emergency and you can't make it to another toilet?

<ANDERSONA2@bcbsil.com>

i don't at work
during lunch i go to the toilet
i throw up in the bathrooms here - they gross me out so bad!

<AZiola@focal.com>

so where do you go to the toilet?

this email has zbone train written all over it

<ANDERSONA2@bcbsil.com>

i could tear one down for you
i refuse to go to the bathrooms here
they smell so so bad and people make funny noises
its gross

<AZiola@focal.com>

i think this is fucking rad

please get me a photo of these signs

<ANDERSONA2@bcbsil.com>

Amy Dowsek

why don't you tell z, he might find this more interesting than i

you can ask him why

From: ANDERSONA2@bcbsil.com

they had to put up signs in our bathrooms to remind people to flush the toilets bizarre

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